What's In A Word?

This Comes Apropros My Facebook Comments
I don't know why but I suddenly wondered about Karel Kapek's magnum opus "Rossum's Universal Robots", which in the original Czech is rendered "Rossumovi Univerzalni Roboti", and which originally featured incredibly mannered performances from people in very - er - 'abstract' costumes.  Art?

"Madame, I shall scare cats in this pose or not at all!"

     I know this looks like a rehearsal for The Pet Shop Boys but it was big in it's day, and of course the Czech for "Worker" became "Robot".
     Except Your Humble Scribe was pondering - I am guilty of this on occasion - and pondering about what would have happened if the author had been Finnish instead of Czech?  Well, the Finnish word for "Worker" is "Tyontekija" which does not trip so lightly and readily off the tongue.  Somewhat worryingly, it does have that sequence " - tek -" in it, which can surely be written off to coincidence, hmmmm?

A Finnish Tyontekija.  And a robot.

     Of course, it doesn't stop there.  What if the author had been Hungarian?  Magyar, as we all know very well, is highly distinctive as a language and has no links with other European languages, although believe it or not is has a distant relation to Finnish (both being in the Finno-Ugric language group).  The Hungarian for "Worker" is "Munkas", which, when pronounced in English, is a bit ambiguous.  If you have someone from This Sceptred Isle who is from the provinces, they're going to sound as if talking about hominid apes.  Or furry robots.  "Szoros munkas".  You can picture them now, swinging through the jungles of the Balaton Plain -

Okay, squeaking along the shores of Lake Balaton

     In case you were wondering, that's a robot anti-rat rat, from Japan.  It's mission brief is to threaten or attack other lab rats, in order to induce stress, so they can test stress medicines under development.  What you might call a Rat Ulcer Renderer, or, to abbreviate it a bit -

People Are Idiots
I know what you're thinking and no, I am not referring to the collective bumbletucks who looked out of the window, saw that it was nice weather outside and said "Let's go get infected!"
     No, I refer to an altogether more professional brand of idiot, that is to say clueless upper management, utterly out of touch with the people who ensure their company actually operates on a day-to-day basis.  For Lo! we are back to that r/AskReddit "What Made A Lot Of People Quit At Once" thread.  Art?

I've no idea what this is, but it looks impressive, doesn't it?

     The narrator described a data company he worked at, where the software and hardware was kept running by software technicians and IT engineers and programmers, all the dull, dependable nerdy guys with pocket protectors who played D & D at the weekends.
     Then you had the sales staff, who appeared to be a bunch of utter morons, as likely to be out drinking beer and racing radio-controlled cars in the parking lot as actually working, and whom fudged accounts and fiddled their figures in order to look good.  The backroom boys loathed them.

We feel for you

     Then the CEO decides to send the entire sales team on an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii (the narrator is from South Canada) and announces this.  The backroom boys are incensed at being so ignored and sidelined, so the CEO suggests that perhaps the sales team can select a single one of them to go along, implying that this is such a generous gesture -
     The entire backroom team quit on the spot and the company immediately tanked.
      That, CEO, is what happens when you annoy the people who keep the wheels turning, day in, day out, every single day.

Tony wouldn't have blundered like that.

A Combination Of Idiot And Crook
Thank you Chris, the BBC's Technology Correspondent, for bringing the problem of deceitful "life hack" Youtube videos to my attention.  Chris's expose included a sample of "How To Cook That" from Youtube, a channel run by (Professor!) Ann Reordan, an Ocker Food Scientist who clearly stands aghast at the lies peddled in the name of profit on various channels.  Every so often she takes a video and dispassionately shows how it's utter bunk by following their instructions.  Art?

That in the background is masquerading as a "cake made in a cup"

      Ann points out that the ingredients listed do not include any raising agent such as bicarb of soda or baking powder or yeast.  She copied the list of ingredients, microwaved the cup for 60 seconds and - passed it on to Dave for testing.

Brave Dave

      I used to think Dave was one of the behind-the-scene technicians, but he's actually Ann's husband, so he doesn't have any choice when ordered to be a guinea pig.  He did not enjoy the cup full of cloying chocoglop and said so.
     So, the video is merely lying.  One wonders why they didn't bother to add a raising agent: I suppose that's because it would make the batter overflow the cup, and they'd have to experiment with how much to use and how big a cup, and it's easier to just CHEAT.
     You can make cakes in a cup, as Ann demonstrated.  Art?

Done in a paper cup with slots cut in the base to let steam escape

     The secret is to use a whipped creamer to add lots and lots of air into the batter, so that it ends up being risen and light.

There you are

     This one actually worked, as Ann demonstrated afterwards.
     We shall come back to this topic, O Yes Indeed!  For it has legs, which lead to all kinds of craziness.

Can't Stop The Roc
If you even so much as narrow your eyes in advance of the merest smidgeon of suspicion about my spelling, I shall send atomic thunderbolts down your cable and electrocute you into a glowing pile of ash.
     Now that we've got that out of the way, shall we proceed?  I think we shall.
     Okay, this follows on from the awesomely titled "Rock Mechanic", which immediately made me think of the mythical Roc, a creature from the folk tales of the Middle East.  Art?

This thing was big.

     It was supposed to be able to carry off elephants, except you don't get elephants in the Middle East, so Conrad suspects some people of purveying pachyderm piffle*.

     I think we shall come back to this, as it, too, has legs.

     For the meantime, however, we are done!


*  Whilst not blinking at the idea of a bird big enough to carry them off.