The Trials Of Technology

<Heartfelt Sigh>
I judge that you, the audience,* deserve to know why there was an absence of a second re-posting of the BOOJUM! link last night, and also why there is no Twitter Tweet this morning.
     I BLAME SPECTRUM!  Those interfering anti-alien swines are always sticking their long, terrestrial noses into my business.  Oh yes, sneer all you like about them being completely fictional and not at all real - that's exactly what they WANT you to think!

See!  See!  Proof I am not raving!

     Anyway, their technical experts obviously got involved last night, as my laptop cheerfully informed me that an "Automatic Repair" was underway last night when I turned it on.
     Oh dear <and other non-SFW exclamations>.  Oh dearie me.
     "Restart" came up as an option.  I restarted.  "Automatic Repair" reappeared.  I Restarted again.  Back again with "Automatic Repair".  I was beginning to sense a theme here, so I tried the classic Turning It Off And On Again. 
     "Automatic Repair" came back -
     AAAAAGH!
     This only left "Reset" as an option <sad face>

As sad as I get

     This took until the small hours of this morning, and I now have to load up and generate new passwords for oodles of websites.  We'll get there in the end.  But that Captain Scarlet - what a dastard, eh?
     Okay, motley, time to jump in the swimming pool.  I'm so distracted I've not even bothered to substitute nitric acid for chlorinated water, that's how big - oh.  Oh, really?  I must have done it yesterday afternoon.  Silly forgetful me!


And Another Thing -
Since I am typing this up at work, in the office, I cannot load up any photos from my phone, which is a bit of a trial, since there were a couple of useful pictures I was going to base an item around.  Data security and all that, I suppose.  Can't have Conrad loading up dubious pictures of Mara Corday in swimwear ...

From the neck up and wearing clothes!

Ides Got An Idea
No!  Once again, that is not a typo.  How many times do I have to tell you, Conrad does not make spelling mistakes; if it's spelled that way then there's a reason for it.
     The reason being in this case that a Cryptic Crossword answer was "IDES", which Your Humble Scribe is familiar with thanks to that loathsome blot on the literary landscape, William Shakespeare.  He has a soothsayer warn Julius Caesar "Beware the Ides of March", the Ides being a set date in the month.

Jules, pre-puncturing

     Lo! and also behold, what happens on the Ides of March but that Ol' Jules gets his precious hide perforated by a number of dagger-wielding assassins in the Senate.  The Barb of Avon has him say "Et tu, Brute?" during this stabby process, which is highly unrealistic in the eyes of Conrad, who suspects his exclamation would have been more along the lines of "OWWWW!"
     Also, couldn't the soothsayer have been a bit more helpful?  After all, if they're going to meddle with predestination and free will, they might as well go the whole hog.
     For Example:
     "Beware the Ides of March, Jules.  And chain mail undergarments are snazzy fashion items, don't you think?"
     OR
     "Beware the Ides of March, Caesy. In fact, beware the Senate, too, they're a right lot of back-stabbers."
     OR
     "Beware the Ides of March, old chap.  Also, is your accidental-or-otherwise insurance up to date?  You don't want to leave a penniless widow in addition to grieving."

 - this would never have happened if I wrote the play.

     This scene might have inspired that line in "Macbeth", you know the one "By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes," although Ol' Jules would have felt pricking all over and not just in his thumbs.


     Wow.  That's going it some for a single word out of the Cryptic.  Next!


Top 10 Sci-Fi Films Reprise
We have now worked our way forward to -
Number Six:"Planet Of The Apes"; Another I've seen.  This one they introduced under the concept of "Humanity is an endangered species."  It does not resonate strongly, to be honest.  I remember that there are lots of CGI hominids, and that the eeeevil kid from the Harry Potter franchise turns up as an eeeevil animal warden.  Better be careful, kid, as an English character actor you're going to get typecast.  Generally, all Hom. Sap. are eeeevil, the apes are saintly and - that's it?

Surly-looking cove, ain't he?
(Also not wearing any clothes!)

     Plus there was an ending that implied disease was going to thin out the human herd somewhat, which I'll have to take on trust as I've neither seen the sequels nor have any desire to do so.
     Frankly, they could have picked better.  "Forbidden Planet", anyone?
Number Five: "The Prestige": Conrad not sure why this one features, since it seemed to be about magic, from what little I recall of the publicity campaign.  I suppose - ah, you can tell I've not seen it, can't you? - I suppose a quick detour to IMDB's "Plot" page is in order.
     Well, it didn't hold my attention long enough to even finish the precis.  Next!
Number Four: "Metropolis": Hmmmm.  Conrad feels rosy-tinted spectacles were involved here.  Yes, I have seen it, and it may have been impressive in it's day (1921?) but it is, honestly, horribly dated.  Art?

Rotwang, echt mad scientist, and his robo-golem

     You have the downtrodden masses shovelling uranium/coke/peat (delete where applicable) into furnaces, which are controlled not by banks of electronic equipment, but by some doofus whizzing the arms of a clock around.  I think.  It's been a while.  Then there's the robot illustrated above, which is given a hologrammatic camouflage and then tempts businessmen into sin by dancing topless.  I think.  I'd had a lot to drink.

Metropo Gas And Electric

     I'm sure there was a message in there somewhere.  "Don't Trust Mad Scientists Who Create Lust-Robots" perhaps?

Finally -
Darling Daughter knows me so well.  She came up to visit in the week, as a late Father's Day visit, and brought the following with her.  Art?

Tah-dah!

     Her criteria for choosing it?  "It was Polish and it looked weird", which is recommendation enough.  My Polish compatriots say it can be eaten hot or cold, though Your Humble Scribe is not quite brave enough to try it cold.
     I did have a photograph of it, which I obviously cannot load from work, so this is one I Googled for.


     And thus we are done!









*  Both of them! cackled Mister Hand