The Scales Of Just Is

Greetings, Pilgrims!

Let us set about this straight away, as I'm actually still doing research on the core matter even as I type.  Firstly, you need to read yesteryon's blog about how scale works with models, and how a bunch of enthusiasts unwisely tried to work out the numbers for building a scale model of the Death Star.  You know, the Ultimate Big Gun from "Stray Wartz" (sp?).  Art!

     First of all, Your Humble Scribe would like to point out that this artefact in no way resembles a star.  Just to be clear.

     Okay, semi-sanity having dawned upon them, the designers then wondered what it would take to make a Lego Minifig-scaled Imperial Star Destroyer WHICH CANNOT DESTROY STARS THAT'S WHAT THE DEATH STAR IS FOR BAFUNES in what they stated was 1/35th scale, rather than the 1/48th scale of a real Minifig gig.  Hey, it's their numbers, let them scale as they wish.  Just saying.  Art!

The behemoth in question

     This project would be more realistic than the Death Star one, as would be trying to drink the Mediterranean dry instead of the North Atlantic.  They calculated this beast would be 60 yards long, and would require an internal metal skeleton to support it's weight.  They (Brick Vault) did a CGI breakdown of how insanely large this thing would be by focussing on one of the Force Field Generators on the bridge structure.  Art!

     This is how the device looks in stills taken from the films, which they then displayed in a Lego-tised version.  Obviously - of course! - there have to be design compromises with Lego, as it's based on blocks and cannot mimic things in the real world exactly.  Art!

     - and to ensure everyone knows how large this relatively small structure is on the Star Destroyer, they further broke down the design and included a Minifig in there for scale.  Art!

     Pretty apparently this single FFG would be freaking enormous as a Lego stand-alone project in it's own right.  Let's have a recapitulation of how big an ISD is, just to be clear.  Art!

     You begin to see the issues here.  So far all the work has been digitally rendered, from a source known only as "Axmex", who was plotting to construct this thing in real life.  Or so he claimed.  The Brick Vault video is two years old and Axmex has not appeared any further on Youtube or the general internet.  One would expect at least a short clip or two of "Work In Progress" to show various sub-assemblies being put together, or a frame being welded into shape, yet there is only the sound of crickets and tumbleweeds.  There is the distinct possibility that matey simply can't afford the millions of bricks involved, nor hiring a space for several years to construct it.  They might well get willing volunteers to work on it's assembly for free, mind.  Lego construction fans would love to be part of a mego-project such as this.  Art!

Some people very obviously HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS!

     O and to display more scale replicas in Lego, let us bring up a 'Lambda Class T4a Shuttle', with puny human for scale.  Art!

     That picture at bottom shows how the shuttle fits into a docking bay on the Imperial Star Destroyer.  That bay is big enough to climb into and have a nap in.

     ANYWAY I did check out a Reddit page where the designers hung out on, and they are still making noises about how it's all going ahead and will be trotted out shortly, etcetera.  Yeah, well, the risk of bloviating like that is that another person will nip in and steal your thunder.  Art!

     No need to justify this - it just is.  And so are we.

Prior Knowledge

Ha!  I amuse even myself on occasions.  You see, I transcribed a presentation done by Ocker military historian Robin Prior on the "WW2TV" Youtube channel, where Woody gave - I beg my pardon!  Mister Paul Woodage gave him 18 minutes to attempt to shatter a myth of the Second Unpleasantness.  Art!

     I shan't dump all the transcription on you all at once, that would be unfair.  Let us just take Ol' Rob's first subject: The Man For Man Comparison.  Art!

     Rather amusingly, Ol' Rob' claims that the man-for-man comparison ought to have been shelved as a meaningful factor after the Siege Of Troy, when Hector and Achilles got it on with weapons.   It persists, nevertheless, because in part the Teutons liked to be seen as warriors in the tradition of Siegfried, being all Aryan and Ubermensch.  Well, this is unfortunate, because the Second Unpleasantness was a war fought by technology and metal, not people matching up to each other individually on the battlefield.  Art!

Pick your Achilles -

I'll provide the Hector

"City In The Sky"

Things are getting worse aboard the Bernal sphere Arcology One, in orbit above the devastated Earth.

Poor girl! he suddenly realised.  Her husband had gone down with the disease in Chetwell four hours ago and now she was witnessing signs of the later stages.

     ‘Davy?’ buzzed his Tab.  Marga, from microbiology.

     ‘Yes?

     ‘Nothing recognisable.  It must have come up with those two travellers.  Given time I can isolate it but you need to quaratine them.’

     Too late for that, gloomily reflected the doctor.  As of thirty minutes ago over a thousand people scattered across Arcology One were afflicted. 

     ‘Thanks, Marga.  Keep trying.  Let me know about anything you find.’

     He pressed his Tab’s red emergency button three times, sending a signal out to all Tabs across the whole sphere.

     ‘Your attention please.  This is Director Davros.  Please pay attention, and pass this message on to anyone unable to hear it.’   He paused to gather his wits, and breath, before carrying on.  ‘An unknown disease has infected almost one in ten of the sphere population.  Until we come up with a cure, please remain in your township.  If possible, remain in your building.  If you succumb to illness after this broadcast, please Tab one of the Wardens and we will render palliative care.’

     Jinkies.  What next?

Get Wet Pet

No!  Nothing about walking Edna - although she might well need it, the greedy little piker.  She tore into a sealed box of caffeine gummies sitting on the lounge table and scoffed four of them.  So far the only symptoms have been getting the zoomies, but we watch dutifully.

     ANYWAY no, I was referring to "Aquaman 2", which has been out at the cinema for a while now.  Not that long yet enough to judge how well it's projected profits are -

     Not good.  Art!

     It's apparently not that bad a film, merely a bit meh, so not a dumpster fire atop a dumpster fire (how Marvelsous of it!).  We do have a few numbers for you.  The budget was pitched at $205 million, and you can add another $150 million for promotion, advertising and distribution, so $350 million overall.  Heck, what's $5 million between friends?  Art!

     Hmmmm nowhere like on track to hit $700 million.  Give it another three weeks to be certain.

     A shame for Big Jason Momoa, who comes across as a personable chap lacking preciousness.  He can cry all the way to the bank.

     Far less appreciated is Amber Heard.  She was very conspicuously (and most  deliberately!) absent from all the advertising, thanks to the negative press she garners.  There's a lot of rancour from filmgoers who said they weren't going to any film she was in, so I leave it to you as to whether this brought down attendance or not.  One suspects not abroad, because of the box office figures globally; in South Canada?  Hmmm yes.  Or no.

Stop gloating, you!  And don't rub your hands gleefully, either.

Profit And Loss

I was thinking about putting a "Joe Blogs" vlog in here, about how parlous the Ruffian economy is, but decided to be a bit tangential.  You see, the mighty Ruffian army has finally conquered Mariinka in the Donbass, in a victory for the ages.  Art!

Hardly ecstatic, are they?

To the victor the spoiled

     That's the 'Profit' side of the ledger.  On the 'Debit' -

     That's about $250 million-worth of kit that the Ruffians cannot replace.  They could possibly turn a ruble or two renting out the Novocherkassk wreck for "Aquaman 3", perhaps?
     This is definitely going to influence their "Expenditure" column in January's Ministry Of Finance data sheets.

Finally -

Better get lunch together.  What ho!

MegaLegomania

I Know, I Know

It's not a word that appears in my Collins Concise Dictionary, so if it ever does make it in there, or into British vernacular, Conrad wants royalties.

     Where does it come from?  Well, partly from the Youtube algorithm that parses what you've been watching and delivering more thumbnails associated with that theme.  Recently I've featured the work of Matt Brenner and his very large 'Starz Wark" (sp?) models, which are verrrry impressive.  Art!

     I'm sorry if you can't unsee this, it's a consequence of "Brenner" and "Lego" being used as search terms.  Let us instead try with Matt's correct surname: Benner.  Art!

     That's more like it.  This is another SW build, which, to Conrad, has a look of Chris Foss about it.   Matt's modus operandi seems to be just start building the thing, absent any overall design or crafting.

     Hmmm, yes, I'm sure you're thinking, that's an approach that works for a mere 20,000 pieces.  What if -

     And here we enter the world of scale.  You see, it would be wildly impractical, not to mention impossible, to replicate all the myriad things that men (it's principally men) like to make in model form at a 1:1 scale.  Art!

     That's a 1/400 scale replica of the South Canadian battleship USS Missouri, which is 26" long and can be fitted onto a display table quite handily.  More than one and wifey might start giving you icy looks.  Art!

BB-63 berthed

     This is the real thing, clocking in at 887' and over 57,000 tons, so any display table would likely need substantial reinforcement.  The example can be repeated ad nauseum, which I will avoid unless we run short of the Count later in this blog.  Ship models are necessarily small-scale, thanks to the real things being whacking big objects, whereas i

     ANYWAY let us now return to what one might call a 'base scale' in Lego: that of their Minifigs.  Art!

     These work out at 1:48 scale, or ¼ inch = 1 foot.

     So.  Human, or Hom. Sap. if you like, hubris being what it is, a group of Lego fanatics/nutjobs/afficionadoes <delete where necessary> carried out a preliminary planning session to do a Minifigs-scale Death Star.  Art!

Courtesy 'Brickvault'

     They did the background maths ('math' for South Canadian readers) and you can see the number-crunching that came up.  Their scale seems to have been slightly smaller than 1:48, as at their scale it would have been 2.76 kilometres in diameter (!), as - er - opposed to 'only' 2.5 kilometres in 1:48.  Plus it would have needed over seven BILLION baseplates simply to create the spherical surface, and there aren't that many baseplates in existence.  Art!

Courtesy 'Brickvault' again

     In a handy-dandy visualisation, they realised the Minifig-scale Death Star would need a construction space equivalent in breadth to that of Manhattan Island.  I rather suspect that they'd also need to construct it under cover to prevent weather extremes from causing damage, and would also need an internal structural skeleton to keep it rigid and intact.  Plus, everything above say a hundred yards height would need to be put into place with drones? at a guess, because there are precious few cranes that can reach 2.73 kilometres.  None, in fact.  Art!

     That impressively large free-standing dome is the Singapore National Stadium, which is all of 312 metres in diameter - yes yes yes, Conrad is using those hideous metric measurements out of practicality, sue me if you don't like it.

     ANYWAY this is the record-holder for domes and has been so for the past decade, yet it is only one-ninth as large as the Minifig-scale Death Star.  That's how insanely enormous the structure would have been, had the planners not seen daylight and given up on it.  Really, it would have needed a government-sized and funded engineering project to make it happen.

     Phew! you are thinking to yourself.  Common sense to the rescue!

     Not so fast .....

What Can Possibly Go Wrong?

The Mansion no longer echoes to the sound of felines patrolling the hallways in search of both food and attention, yet Conrad knows how these creatures behave.  The company "Alluriste", not so much.  Art!

     The video clip up on Twitter shows one of these flitting and flying around a room, with a cat, it's blood definitely up, maniacally attempting to catch it, as cats will do.  In the genes, you know.  Art!

"KILL!  KILL!"

     Yeah, you can imagine wifey sheepishly greeting hubbo as he crosses the doorstep back from the office.  "Ah - sweetie, you know that one four-hundredth scale model of that Missisissourabadabah that was on the display table?" and hubbo immediately notices the use of a past tense.

"City In The Sky"

Medical issues are afoot aboard Arcology One, quite possibly tied to an ingress of micro-organisms from Australia.  We shall see!

When Terry arrived he looked as tired as she felt, his voice reduced to a hoarse croak after endless hours of talking to an audience of eager inquisitors, whom he said were reduced to quite as hoarse a state as himself; he could have done with a honey and lemon balm, except the arcology didn’t have bees or citrus fruits (only sucrose and Vitamin C pills).  Ace towed him into the common building and an area partitioned off with shoulder-high screens, a pair of wicker bed frames put out for them, white plastic boilersuits laid on a pair of scuffed plastic chairs and space blankets hanging on the screens.

     ‘This is for us to kip on,’ she told him.  ‘I’ll get changed on the other side.’

     Terry held up a space blanket, frowning.

     ‘What, done up like a Christmas chicken?’

     ‘No! Haven’t you – oh – of course.  It’s a space blanket.  Lined with reflective foil that keeps your body heat in.’

     ‘No proper blankets?’

     ‘Hardly.  Do you see any sheep or cotton plantations up here?  That’s lightweight and recyclable.  Now, I’m going to get changed.  No looking.’

 

     Davros looked at the makeshift ward, twenty four beds, each occupied by a patient, leaving only six free.  Glancing back at the entrance, he saw Paramedic Prakasz shaking her head with worry. 

     Ooops.

More Christmassy Stuff

So what if it's out of date?  Art!

     In fact we on the blog have rather moved from speculative criticism of various film and television programs based on bus posters, and more into real financial analysis of box office returns.  With a fair bit of gloasting about how gigantic- budgeted films this year have turned out to be absolute dinosaurs, whilst the closely-monitored small budget ones have been outstanding - what would the correct analogy?  Mammalian survivors?  Art!

Zilly being silly

     I thought I'd gotten a photo of Edna in front of the television showing burning Yule logs, but no, so here she is pining for attention (and food).  Art!

     Sorry, Edna.  Boundless love but empty hands.

Under The Whip

A metaphorical one, that is.  The extended family all go to a bowling alley on Boxing Day, to play - you may be ahead of me here - bowls.  Our start time is 13:00 and Your Humble Scribe is trying to finish this blog before leaving, as well as posting up today's, which I got ready yesteryon, which is quite as confusing as it sounds.

     Not only that, I've got to wait until tomorrow to watch the last episode of "Slow Horses", after the cliff-hanger of Episode Five, where Louisa and River cannot possibly escape from a plethora of gun-toting baddies.

     Nope, knowing that there's a Season Four in the offing doesn't mean that either of them will be saved, SH likes to bump off it's cast with some regularity.  Art!

River being a soft git

     Toodles!

щасливого Різдва!

Which, Of Course - Obviously! - Is Ukrainian For "Merry Christmas!"

Because it's that time of the year when people chow down on mince pies, Christmas pudding, Christmas cake and brandy butter TAUNT ME TAUNT ME WITH WHAT I CANNOT HAVE <ahem> as well as turkey and sprouts.  Not all on the same plate, need I mention.

     ANYWAY I'll get to the presents later, right now I've been watching "Slow Horses" Season Three's first two episodes.  Art!

Can't get much slower than this

     You can't get too attached to any of the cast, as they are likely to get bumped off or disappeared by the end of season.  Why, Jack is still pining for the mysterious 'Sid' who appeared in Season One and vanished half-way through, her real identity still unknown.  Art!

Played by Olivia Cooke FROM OLDHAM

     Which, naturally, has nothing to do with the rest of this Intro.  I just like sending you astray.

     ANYWAY let's have a nice succinct tale of manglement, with a distinct touch of hubris to it, set - as these things so often are - in South Canada.  Where the 'Domino's' pizza chain is in fact a franchise, not a nationally-owned chain.  To be a little clearer, if you run a franchise, you pay a fee to the actual brand owner and are contractually obliged to run within a set of guidelines as you manage day-to-day operation of whatever it is.  They're a lot more common than you realise.  Art!

The ones we tried here in the UK tasted akin to the box they came in

     Original Poster (on Quora) stated that in the 9 stores his franchiser owned they  offered discounts, especially for the specials that were on offer, bringing the price down from $17 to $13, and they would inform the customer of this discount.  The Foolish Franchiser (hereafter FF) decided that in future discounts would only be offered to customers who had a coupon, which were mailed out every so often.  Art!

     This was not a smart move, as both the franchises above still offered a discount when customers rang to place an order, reducing the cost by $4.

     Sales immediately plummeted as customers rang, discovered there was no discount and instead rang Papa John's or Pizza Hut to get their savoury, savoury money off.  O and their pizza.  Don't forget that.

     After seeing sales and profits fall off a cliff, the FF brought back specials and discounts, which was far too late as nobody bothered to ring Domino's any longer, so sales remained at the foot of the cliff, in bits.  Not very poetic I know.  Accurate, mind.  Art!

     This is what FF was paying himself monthly before OP, seeing the writing on the wall, left.

     Well!  Who knew that Domino's corporate auditors and scrutineers would get on FF's case, thanks to his less-than-stellar performance?  They did, though.  In fact they forced him to sell his franchised stores to another franchiser with better business sense, and his net worth went from $17 million to nil.  According to OP, FF ended up working at a Costco stocking shelves.  Probably on $10,000 per annum.

     That, gentle reader, is the Greek concept of 'Hubris' writ large for today.

The Extremely Slow Consumption Of A Conserve

Probably not a 'conserve' as there is no fruit or peel in it.  You can duke it out in the Comments on this one.  Art!

     It was fine once I'd scraped a bit of mould from the surface.  Yes yes yes it's full of sugar, that's what keeps the micro-organisms at bay, and thanks to Conrad being abstemious*, that's why it's lasted so long.

Just Throwing This Out There

I won't bore you with the details of the Youtube channels I follow, especially those that deal with the Special Idiotic Operation, apart from mentioning this one.  Art!

     

     This is "Anders Puck Nielsen", from whose first name and surname you may be able to guess is Scandinavian.  Correct.  More precisely, Danish.  More precisely still, he's an Intelligence Officer in the Royal Danish Navy.  His English is excellent, certainly far better than any of you out there can speak Danish (unless you are Danish or live in Greenland).  He doesn't post very often, and his vlogs are short, but! O my are they pithy and relevant.

     I will be watching this one later.  After "Slow Horses".

"City In The Sky"

Ace, ever on the lookout for a bacon butty.

     Ace’s conscience prompted her to protest weakly when Solly’s wife, an equally tall, thin Nigerian possessing an air of poise and who made a boilersuit look elegant, swept out of a building with trays of snacks and toasted rolls.  When she returned with a carafe of iced water, the young woman felt like crawling under the table.

     ‘Really, I don’t need all this, honestly.’

     Two pairs of sombre eyes regarded her for at least a second until her embarassment at having put them out was overcome by her hunger.

     ‘Where can Terry and I get a bed?’ she asked after clearing her plate, twice.  ‘I know you’re overstaffed and there’s a shortage of accomodation.’

     ‘We would - ’ began Solly’s wife, before Ace anticipated her and broke in.

     ‘Davros!  Doctor Davy – he’d know, wouldn’t he!  Can you Tab him?’

     Solly tried, and got the “Occupied” signal.  He tried again five minutes later, and got the same repetitive beeping.

     ‘I’ll go and visit him,’ explained Ace brightly.  ‘Kensington, right?’

     She didn’t get beyond the twilit edge of Broughton; Solly hailed her and came after to explain.

     ‘I’ve just got a Tab from Ewan.  They’re bringing Terry over to you.  Davy is busy – a medical problem.  We can put up temporary bedding for you in the common area.’

     Ace shrugged.  Oh well, less travel for her.  She couldn’t deny she was tired.  Jumping around continents and planets and orbits for days on end did play tricks on your body’s internal clock.

     I wrote this long before I met 'Fifi', as Fisayo called herself.  She could have served as a model for Solly's wife.  Just for your information.

More Of Matt

Whilst having a bit of a run on Lego items, let me re-introduce Matt Benner, Lego artist extraordinaire, who has built not one but three Star Destroyers from the obscure "Starry Wartz" (sp?) franchise.  The one he opens up to reveal an extensively detailed interior has 35,000 parts to it, which I know is the detail you love most of all.  Art!

Sausage-fingered Conrad looks on in awe

     Conference Room and Sith Chamber.  Conrad uncertain if there'd be any kind of discussion permitted if Ol' Vadey is knocking around the bridge; he seems to be more a kind of 'Do as I say or you die horribly' kinda guy.  Art!

Big pointy bit gets removed
(This is the actual bridge)

Next level down revealed

Games room, shower, domestic cleaning appliances
Armoury, CIC, medical bay

     Note compacted TIE fighter and shuttlecraft.  Blimey, how ingenious is this guy!  Art?

Shuttlecraft with fins unfolded

     Matt explains that he didn't use any plans or designs to create this behemoth (the 'Tyrant'), he just went ahead and built it.  Consequently it is i) Very heavy and ii) Awkward to physically move, and would probably not be taken to another convention.  He didn't mention how long it took to put together.  Many days, I would guess.

Finally -

O go on then, a bit of present presentation.  Art!

Nine packs of sugar-free sweets

Boxed in

    I shall probably need to drink the beer in order to render myself ready to consume Pork Scratchings.  So not to be consumed until 31/12/2023 - 30 days dry to date, thank you for asking.

     That's all for this particular orbit around the sun.  до побачення!

     Which is, of course, Ukrainian for "Goodbye!"

*  Diabetes and all that.