Not Sure About The Wuthering -

But We Certainly Have The Wind Tonight
It's howling like a - like a - what is the collective noun for a collection of banshees, anyway?  A shriek?  A Keen?  A Wail?  whichever, one of those - and Your Humble Scribe is immensely glad that Edna's had her two walks of the day already.  Plus it is chucking it down.  Or, rather chucking it sideways - the wind, again.
      If I had my phone then I could post a photograph of the little scamp a-sitting on the chair opposite, displaying all the body language of a dog who's been busy all day long.

Small Domesticated Wolf's understudy

     Well, she hasn't.  For several hours she was sulking in the back bedroom, annoyed that the entirety of Hom. Sap. wasn't pandering to her every whim.  With treats.
     Edna!  Don't you know it's a Leap Year?  Shouldn't you be, oh, I don't know - be jumping around, a-brim with vim?
     Perhaps not.
     Here an aside.  Though I have the curtains drawn I can still hear the traffic outside.  Bear in mind that I live on a large blind bend, that it is night, that it is raining heavily and that the road surface is slick with rain, and then wonder at the idiots who go whizzing past at seventy miles per hour.  It must be a brilliant party you're headed to, mate, so brilliant that you're willing to risk death.  Perhaps GMP need a bit of a tickle over this ...

The road in daylight and whilst dry.  Did I mention the concealed exit?

     Motley!  Let's go for a bike-ride!

We Have Ways Of Making You Talk
The podcast, don't you know.  Conrad can't listen to it whilst typing this up, as it's far too interesting and I'd be endlessly diverted, probably nipping off to Google exactly what the comparative climb rates for a Me109G and a Spitfire Mk. IX were at altitudes below 20,000 feet (or three and a half miles) -
     You see?  Jim and Al tend to go off at tangents to whatever they were supposed to discuss, and so frequently and at such length that the podcast is over without covering anything like what was scheduled.  Earlier this month being a case in point.  Art?

The Med in 1941

     Both were refuting one of the Krasnaboo's* assertions that the Med was a sideshow.  Jim, who has written widely on the Second Unpleasantness and has facts and figures at his mental fingertips, mentioned that in one 5 month period the Luftwaffe lost 700 planes on the Eastern Front.  In the Med during the same period, they lost 2,500.  What the Luftwaffe was trying to do was use air power as what military pundits call a "force multiplier", or to enhance what ground assets they had present; Al made the point that the Luftwaffe was being shunted around as a kind of 'fire brigade' force, trying to plug gaps - and failing.  Jim then chimed in and expanded on his earlier point; over a 10 month period in the Med up to the fall of Tunis and the conflict ending, the Luftwaffe -
     - blimey, he must have been doing EIGHTY miles per hour! - 
     - er yes, they lost 6,000 aircraft.  This included units that had been transferred from the Eastern Front, leaving the Luftwaffe permanently weakened there.

South Canadians picking over the bits in Tunisia

     Of course the Sinisters* and then the Ruffians* would rather drink poison than admit the Allies ever actually helped them.
     I may squeeze a little more content over this item tomorrow, because I don't want your brains to glaze over tonight**.

Back To The Bucket List
Yes yes yes, those 51 greatest sci-fi books ever written, as decided by whom exactly Bookbub don't reveal, unless you register with them (probably).  Let's not dawdle over this as I've not read either of the next two.  Yet.
"Ingatherin" By Zenna Henderson.  Art?

Partially Nope

     I think I remember reading one of her short stories several decades ago.  The central concept is that 'The People" are humanoid aliens, refugees who found sanctuary on Earth after their own world was eaten by a giant space goat rendered  inhabitable by infinitely increasing swarms of insurance salesmen destroyed.  They keep a low profile, despite being several orders of Clever above mere Hom. Sap. which is a clever inversion of the Alien Invasion trope.  Next!
     "How To Live Safely In A Science Fictional Universe" By Charles Yu.  Art?

Lots of guns.  I like it already!

     This one I have no prior knowledge of.  A little Googling and Wiki reveals it's to do with time-travel, which can be an incredibly tricky subject to both convey in a convincing manner, and to have dramatic content.  It seems to be a debut novel, so we may see more worthy exposition by the author, or he may turn out to be a one-trick pony.   One to note in the back of the notebook for future reference.  Conrad unsure how many explosions there are.  Sorry about that.

This Will All Make Sense On Facebook, Honestly
Although it is entirely serendipitous, it will chime with the item below and I had no idea it would come up in a search.  Art?

The Fawlty Towers lobby - in Lego!

Finally -
I am guessing a tad here, as it's a while since we listed any Complex Lego Builds.  I think the last one was Sydney Opera House, so the next that Den Of Geek list as challenging is - 

This puppy

     This looks to be a different kit from the Ultimate Star Destroyer, which I can't be bothered to refer to <nudge from Mister Hand> O go on then - 

Happy now, Hand?

     There doesn't seem to be much in it.  Both are deltoid grey machines, with an accompanying shuttle, and are only to be attempted by those who have a lot of time on their hands, as well as manual and digital (in the sense of 'fingers') dexterity.



*  "The Red Army had won the war by the end of 1941 and completely alone, and don't you dare mention Von Ribbentrop and Molotov."
**  Or, if you want, I could read you my 5,000 word monograph on "Forbidden Planet" and how - no?  No?  You're sure, no?  O very well.

First Bus Fail

Well, Not Strictly First Bus Alone
However, old habits die hard and Your Humble Scribe is ever wont to revert to a bit of Bus-bashing.
     To what do I refer?  Well, bus posters, of course.  Conrad has himself a splendid view from The Mansion's front room of public service vehicles as they tootle up and down Tandle Hill, including their posters, which he takes especial notice of: they provide grist for BOOJUM!s film reviews.

The view from my window

     There was one which I spotted yesteryon, though it no more than caught my eye as a blur of pink and white.  Today I've seen it whizzing downhill, and I have to say the designers did a very poor job.
     "JOIN OUR CONGREGATION" it blared in large lettering.  The name of the program itself was off to starboard in lettering so small it couldn't be seen.
     Bad designers!  Naughty designers!  No biscuit for designers!

Stratocumulus clouds

     Googling for it only brought up a thousand achingly sincere church slogans, so have a picture of some cloud formations instead.  Conrad guesses, based on the "Con" part being emphasised in red, that it's a spoof of all those dodgy South Canadian televangelists, who get caught committing adultery whilst snorting illegal chemicals off the back of a rent boy whilst eating pandaburgers fried with leopard fat, that sort of thing.
     I might be able to catch the starboard print details if another bus bearing the same poster goes past uphill; they travel slightly slower and I'd have been warned by the large print section of the poster, which will come first.
     You see?  You see the craft and dedication that goes into each and every BOOJUM! post?
     Motley, did you buy these white strawberries or bleach them?

"Dave" Explained
Conrad has been promoting the Youtube channel "How To Cook That", featuring Prof. Ann Reardon, a food scientist who valiantly combats fake videos featuring foods, and (sometimes) very dangerous "life-hacks".  She has been paired on occasions with a chap called "Dave" whom I thought was one of her technicians; he gets to be the hapless chap who taste-tests some of the - er - concoctions that these life-hacks produce.  Perhaps "results in" is more accurate.  Art?

Dave.

     It transpires that "Dave" is actually David Reardon, hubby to Ann, hence constitutionally obliged to help her test gallons of glop.  Not only that, he appears to be a published author, with a book to his name.  Art?

No, I have no idea what it's about.  But I am curious.

  Dave defined.

Part Two Of That Docklands Revenge Tale
If you recall, Conrad was regaling you with details of a concert performance put on in the London Docklands, by a management company who managed to be staggeringly inept thanks to no experience and idiot staff, a combination that provides opportunities for schadenfreude.
     The un-named (but major) female star of the concert was busy performing in a giant tent with an audience of predominantly OAPs.  Given that this is a summer evening, the temperature is high, so our narrator, head of the stage's technical crew, orders that the side panels of the tent be raised.  Along comes the incredibly bitchy and abusive liaison from the management company, who orders the flaps be lowered, as having them up "Spoils the atmosphere".

Summat like this

     The temperature increases to the point where the elderly guests are beginning to suffer.  Our Narrator orders the side flaps raised, immediately lowering the temperature, at which The Harridan abruptly appears, shrieking and shouting that they be lowered, that she is in charge, that she is in fact Queen of The Universe*.  O.N. then quotes Health and Safety at her and has her chucked out by a pair of security stewards who were visibly panting to do so.
     After the concert ends, the Un-named Star goes to the site bar and is having one whale of a time with the stage crew -
     I shan't finish this now; you'll have to wait until tomorrow**.

The Docklands

Dangerous!  O So Very Dangerous!
We've not had one of these for an age, so let me inform you that Conrad has a childish delight in all things explosive.  If it's also poisonous and radioactive then so much the better.  If only there was a form of Sulphur Trioxide that was radioactive <stares into the middle distance with sweaty palms) -
     Anyway, I came across an old link, which brings up a list of "Extremely Hazardous Substances", the first of which is -
     Acetone Cyanohdrin.

A model of the beast

     It's an important reagent in chemical reactions to create acrylics, which means it's not going away anytime soon.  Okay, the clue for this one's danger is the "Cyano-" part of the title, as this is Cyanide.
     If you put C4H7NO anywhere near water it will immediately and enthusiastically decompose, yielding Hydrogen Cyanide as a vapour, and unless you were doing this ill-advised mucking about in a fume cupboard or with a gas mask, then you'd be - dead.
     There you go, not a bad re-introduction to Extremely Hazardous Substances.

Minute Tremor In Paraguay, Someone Suffered A Hangnail
Your Humble Scribe managed to lose his phone on Friday, which is a bit inconvenient - I can't take photos and upload them to the blog at present.  I have got a replacement coming on Monday, the specs of which I wrote down but which are far too boring to bother you with.  That's about it, really.

The Samsung A10

     That's what it looks like.  That is, like a phone.  Wonder Wifey will narrow her eyes dangerously at this attitude, but what the heck, a phone is a phone.  It merely allows people you don't want to know to bother you at inconvenient times.  Get me - I sound like Humphrey Smith and his attitude towards ALL digital technology in his pubs.

     Wouldn't you know, we are done-y done done!

*  Okay, I made that one up.  Seems apt, though.
**  Heh.

Piping Hot Is What It's Not

The Bad Weather Is My Fault
But I have no money, so you can sue me if you like.  If you are a regular reader of BOOJUM! then you will be aware that Conrad rashly declared that "Winter is over!" some little while ago, because of the gradually lengthening days and shortening nights.  I did not take into account the actual temperature of the surrounding world, which I confess is a bit of a mistake.  Art?

Snow - or icing sugar accident?  Only you can tell!

     The scene on Thursday morning where Your Modest Artisan trudged upwards towards the bus stop outside the Pleasant inn.  When I got there, it was to ponder deeply on philosophical themes such as "Why does the freezing wind come in from all directions at once?" and "How come I cannot swipe my phone whilst wearing gloves?"  All questions of the age.  Art?

     You can tell it's early, we're here at 06:20 and there's only one set of footprints in the snow.  For once, the snow, sleet and slush had persuaded the usual drivers determined to die in order to get to work 30 seconds quicker to actually observe the speed limit.
     By the time my bus had descended the lowlands into Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell, all that snow had turned to rain.  Ah, me, what a Manchester morning!  Cold, wet and raining underneath a lowering sky.  U2 could never have made it if they came from Manchester, you know: can you imagine "Under A Leaden-Grey Sky" ever being popular or having appeal?

Close to the Edge*

     The reason I mention "piping" is because I have been using Youtube to listen and watch to a whole load of clips that include the bagpipes, for no other reason than that bagpipes are awesome.  There are a few other people around the globe who think the same way, because this is the foundation of the Edinburgh Tattoo, where you have displays of awesome music being played whilst demonstrating impeccable march discipline.  Art?

Bumbling cameraman to starboard

     Anyone who fails to like bagpipes is an utter scunner and Sassenach to boot.
     Motley!  Put on your sporran and skean dhu and we shall dance a reel!

Do the Skean Dhu

BOOJUM! Reviews Films
Because we can, and it's a good few weeks since we have done so.  Remember our wildly arbitrary rules for reviewing: 1) There aren't any and 2) If in doubt, see 1).  You want a proper film review, go see Mark Kermode or that other chap he reviews with, Simon Sauce or something.  Right!  Let the ravishings begin!
"Hunters": At last!  Recognition for one of the RAFs lesser know jets of the Fifties, the Hawker Hunter.  Art?

Loaded for Bear

     They built nearly 2,000 of these second-generation fighters, and in September 1953 one of them broke the world speed record.  They were a tremendous success, being built out of box girders and railway sleepers, as the saying goes, and the last ones to be flying only stopped in 2014.  They were exported all over the world and saw front-line service with other countries, just not here in the skies over This Sceptred Isle.  That Bear I mentioned?

Nosey Ruffians

     For some inexplicable reason the publicity posters I've seen for this prominently feature some South Canadian actors.  Strange, that.  Unless I've been overthinking this ...
"The Call Of The Wild": Conrad is pretty resistant to calls from the wild, as he likes his creature comforts such as hot running water, plumbed toilets, electric light and a fully-stocked fridge.  I am not Bear (that name again!) Grylls nor do I want to have to subsist on rabbit eyeballs for liquid sustenance (part of the British Army's training regimen).
     I am also concerned that the publicity posters feature Harrison Ford, who is getting on rather, and it seems to be cruel and abusive to stick an aging pensioner in the middle of Alaska.

Brrrrr.  That looks cold.

     Conrad is not going to see this, for the same reasons he never goes to music festivals set in muddy fields.
"The Invisible Man": Again?  Really?  Damn your eyes, H. G. Wells, do you see what you've fostered?  The tagline is "What you can't see can hurt you" well yes like a gamma-ray laser, for instance.  Or cyanide gas.  IIRC, the original invisible man went moonbats, although I'm not sure if he went round the twist thanks to being an incipient psycho in the first place, or if the elixir of invisible had some horrid side-effects.  Did he trial it experimentally?
     Anyway, the implication here is of some creepy invisible stalker threatening a young lady.  That's it?  Your original IM went on a campaign of terrorism, in order to Something because Something Else.  This one seems to lack vision**.

The original and still best
(Though I like the John Carpenter one)

I was going to blather on at length about another couple of sci-fi books on that bucket list but there's not enough left of the word count to make it work, that and I've not read or even heard of either one.  Maybe tomorrow.

Finally -
Conrad read a fascinating revenge story on ask/Reddit last night, from a sound technician who was working a festival in the London Docklands, which had been put on to celebrate the renovation of the docks area.  He cautioned that the company charged with managing this event were completely useless with absolutely no relevant experience, especially the "harridan" who was managing his particular stage.  She was equal parts incompetent and arrogant, belittling every single member of the technical crew.
     This did not go down well.  There would be repercusssions.
     Our hero coyly kept the name of the "superstar" present on his stage a secret, although they did insist on having their enormous concert grand present in her eyeline; which was about as diva-ish as she got.
     First sign that things were not going to proceed well was when eight coaches pulled up outside on the opening night, to disgorge 400 OAPs from local care homes, etcetera.  This was because the promoters had forgotten to publicise or advertise the event.
     Oh dear.  This, however, was only the beginning of things going pear-shaped -
     - which we will continue at a later date.

The deliciousness of the Docklands

Oh, by the way - there was going to be a different ending to the Intro, which I append here as an illustration (and to up the word count) Motley!  Let us storm the gates of freedom in our mobility scooters -

     And with that we are done!


*  Do you see what - O Yes you do
**  Pun entirely deliberate.

Scummy Yummy

Conrad Feels Righteous!
In which case the rest of you ought to retire to the bunkers and only emerge when the blood has settled, although certain members ought to plan to spend eternity down there.
     For Lo!  Am I not talking about viral videos that have been created with tender loving lying, all the better to accumulate views and therefore £££?  Well, yes I am.  For we are back to Prof. Ann Reardon, a lady who manfully struggles to critique the flood of Youtube tat out there that pretends to be real.  

      This is "Dave", who has what must surely be one of the worst possible jobs in the world, which is tasting the ghastly guff she cooks up a la internet recipes.  Here he is tucking into the wreckage that purported to be a flan, according to So Yummy.  His quote is revelatory: "I didn't order the baby spew -"
     Well now, Ann goes on to debunk a video of So Yummy creating a cake where the external decoration and colouring is done via melting candy, or candy melts.

     This is the fake video playing, where the creators claim to have melted candy, then used it to make 'candles'.  Ann had a lot of trouble copying this in real-time (hint: because it's all lies)*.

     Here we see the cake as it is intended to be after prep.  O so pretty!  Look at all the melted stuffs!

 

Ann watches the LIES in action

     It's not especially clear in this still, but look slightly below and to starboard of the burning sesame seed - you can see where coloured wax has been dripped onto the candle from above.  This is what rolls down the candle and makes the pretty patterns, NOT the candy melts.

Burn, baby, burn!
(Or try to)

 

     Ann could not manage to make the sesame seeds light up; as soon as she took her heat source away, they went out.  Repeatedly.  Obviously she has not soaked them in paraffin, like SY.

Resorting to a candle-wick

 

     Even when she substituted a candle-wick, the candy melt only softened; because of it's inherent chemical nature it did not melt and in fact could not.
     SO YUMMY LIES!
     Hey, motley, shall we throw hot wax at each other?

Meanwhile, Back At The Mansion -
Unfortunately I cannot load up photographs at work, which is where I am typing this, otherwise you'd be able to see the snowscape present in Babylon-Lite (Royton if we're being formal).
     I did wonder, as I trudged up the snowy path the my bus stop outside the Pleasant Inn (where I hope to be doing Pub Quiz tonight), whether the 409 bus would turn up.

During the summer
(both days of it)

     It did.  Of course, it was almost ten minutes late, but we passengers ought to be pathetically grateful that it turned up at all.  I shall provide photographs of the scene outside The Mansion and the view from my bus stop tomorrow, just to evidence how a few millimetres of icy slush partially paralyse public transport.
     Bah!

K-Pop Glop
I have been a little more organised with my notes from yesteryon, because I wrote them down.  Yes, writing, that's how much of a dinosaur I am.
     Anyway, of "Lee-Mun Se" there was nary a trace on Spotify, but there is always room for error with names that involve hyphens. 
     Then we come to Yoo Jae-Ha, and this chap is the "Slushy Balladeer" I pondered on yesteryon.  Song titles in English, sings in Korean DAMN IT MAN CAN'T YOU BE CONSISTENT! with lots of orchestra and Big String Synth.  Probably popular with tweenage girls and their mothers.  Art!

Cripes

     Oh I say!  The poor bloke was killed in a car crash back in 1987.  Well, I have no shame so I'm not taking anything back.
     Next is Lee Sora, which sounds like a kind of margarine.  Quite emotive and heavily piano-based.  "Wounded and Arty" sums them up.  Art!

Scrubs up well, doesn't she?

     Finally, for the night, we had Tae Jin-Ah.  Titles in English, sings in Korean.  Rather a Forties feel to him, and although he starts his record as a bit of a crooner, by the end of the tracks I'd listened to, he's really getting intense and losing the crooner touch.  I like him!

     By that time I'd had quite enough of K-Pop and Googled for Korean Rock.  We may come back to this.

Well, That Was An Effort
Conrad is aware that he's been throwing a lot of Fortunino Matania's art at you, which in terms of Major Unpleasantnesses, is limited to the First.  There is another painter of military scenes, David Cuneo, whom I wanted to bring to the fore, and especially his painting of Perfidious Albion triumphant at Beda Fomm.  However, could I find it?  I could not!  It's taken about five minutes of my lunch and typing time to locate it, so here you go:

The daub in question

      This is one of the major turning points of the Second Unpleasantness, unbeknownst as it was at the time.  You see here a British 2 pounder anti-tank gun, at the time one of the best there was; they haven't quite run out of ammo, since you can see some shells in their ready-use locker, but they were pretty close to it.  To deploy flat and thus make a harder target, the gun crew could take the wheels off, which they have done in this case. In the middle distance you can see the shambles that the British had reduced the Italian 10th Army to, after a day of completely unco-ordinated attacks that had been defeated in detail, and a long column of prisoners waiting to be taken into custody.
     We may come back to this, it has legs.


Beda Fomm on a stamp

Finally -
"Where," I mused, " - does the word 'orchestra' come from?" for I am curious about the origins of words and phrases. 
     The answer is rather simple: Greek.  There is a word of theirs from the Classical era, "orchestra", which referred to that area in front of the stage.  This was reserved for the chorus members, which reservation now extends to great big ensembles of musicians.

Penguin Café Orchestra

*  LIES, I TELL YOU, LIES!