Our Friends The Sharks

Yes, I Am Still Trying To Rehabilitate Them
Or at least their image.  I don't think they'll ever really recover from the hit they took with that polemic "Jaws", and certainly of late with those slanderous "Sharknado" films their image has rarely looked worse.  It seems that every low-budget horror film with access to CGI has decided the shark is an easy target.

Shark says hello.
Look, he's smiling just for you!

     Not on my watch!  The much-maligned shark is responsible for very few actual human deaths annually, certainly a mere fraction of those killed by snakes or zombies, or zombie snakes.  As mentioned before, human beings don't taste especially nice to the shark palate; it's usually a result of confusing you humans for, seals, tasty delicious seals.
     Okay, let me illustrate the FACT that sharks are a lot less eeeevil than generally accepted by bringing in the Beeb.  Art?

     Here you see a shark expert poking a few holes in stereotypes about sharks, notably at the end there, where the Great White, which has  something of a - shall we say, "reputation", is actually a bit of a wimp that avoids conflict if possible.  People going down in shark cages and meeting the big meat eaters face-to-face report that after such an experience they are considerably less scary.  Art?

Shark saying hello, again.  Less teeth this time.

     So I put it to you that the next time you see "Jaws" on television, shout at the screen  before changing channels.*

The Best Of Baked Beetroot
Having apparently gotten my cake-baking mojo back (on loan to Austin for a while), I decided to have a go at beetroot cake, which kicked off the whole baking-for-the-office thing about ten years ago.  However, I only had cooked beets available, and my recipe called for raw ones, which had to be topped, tailed, peeled and grated.  So it was off to the internet for an appropriate recipe.  Art?

Beetroot batter

     This is rather muted when compared to the old recipe's wild psychedelic purple mixture, which is a shame.  I may see if I can get some raw beets just to snap a picture of the batter.  Shall we see what the above turned into?

     Handily, it was also dairy-free, as the recipe used olive oil rather than butter.  So there you are.  And yes, folks at work enjoyed it, though I kept the mystery ingredient a secret.

You What?
Conrad was rather amused by an advert he caught in passing.  It didn't really do it's job properly, since I can't remember who was selling it, one of the cut-price lot I presume.  They were pimping the following for only £119 or thereabouts - Art?

What every home should have?

     A compressor.  For - and you may be ahead of me here - compressing.  Compressing air.  Quite why you'd need one of these at all, let alone for £119 (or it may have been £199, I did say the ad didn't do it's job, didn't I) is quite beyond your humble scribe.  Perhaps it can put a froth on your latte?
     The sheer incongruity made me laugh, anyway.**

A Sly Dig At Dog
This will probably get me into trouble with Wonder Wifey.  However, I've done the deed and created a bit of - er - doggerel verse about Edna Wunderhund, our four-footed mobile alarm system.  You see, she has one of these - Art?

The offending article

     It is, for good or bad, extremely robust, which means the savage mauling that rips soft toys apart within minute has been ineffective here.  And now the rhyme!

Tell me, oh you jolly girls and boys,

Which is the sound that so annoys?

That noise sending folks up the walls -

It's Edna's toy and O! - how it bawls.

Neighbours must hate the horrid thing,

Forever bitten and thus squeaking.

She skitters off with it in her jaws,

Proudly, as if expecting applause.

When share values hit an all-time low

It's all due to Edna's squeaking show.

Or, when mighty corporations go bust,

That's due to Edna's squeaky toy lust.

Global warming, inflation, and Brexit, too -

That damn toy, Edna, they're all down to you.

It's even said that the atomic bomb "Little Boy"

Was made to stop Edna, and her squeaky toy.

     I shall now post this and see how much trouble I get into.  Let's have a shot of the central player in this drama.  Art?

She only looks harmless

*  Not if you're in the pub, obviously.
**  Of course, this may just be me.