Atomic Weasel

No!  This Is Not A Syfy Film

Although you would be forgiven, since there is already a cinematic offering out there entitled "Atomic Shark", which your humble scribe hesitates to even check out on IMDB.

     No, today's title is a hearken back to your modest artisan's testing of the internet, to see if some silly combination of purblind inconsequentiality actually generated a result.  It did when I Googled "Were-whale" and then, because we here at BOOJUM! are nothing if not out there in the left field's left field, I decided to try out nuclear technology and small lithe carnivores.  Art?

Weaselly-atomic

     There you go.  This is obviously a detonation device used by NATO and their nuclear landmines along the Inner German Border, for when - oh - no - wait a minute, it's used by guitarists as an effects pedal.  Ah.  Well, there you go, a bit of a come-down.*

     Okay, if the foot-powered flunky really exists, which I do not admit for a second, that has nothing to do with LITHIUM-WAFER BATTE - except that has nothing to do with anything, either.

     There you go again.  Proof, if it were needed, that anything is automatically made better with the prefix "Atomic".**

     Enough wibble - let us push the oarless motley out onto the boating lake amidst a bevy (the correct name for a collective) of enraged swans!

Banging On Again
Almost literally, in this case.  In a footnote to the Battle of Medenine, which I have been recapitulating for your elucidation, let us introduce the mighty 3.7" anti-aircraft gun, as used by Perfidious Albion.  Art?

With puny humans for scale.

     Here an aside.  Much is made of the Teuton's use of their 88 mm anti-aircraft gun in an anti-tank role, and I note that bafoon Fussell quoting it as the best weapon of the Second Unpleasantness.  Hardly.  It could knock out British tanks at a mile distant, yes, but it was an enormous piece of kit, far bigger than a barn door, meaning it was an inviting target.  To dig it in required excavating at least 50 tons of earth and rock, and it needed an equally large towing vehicle - two big targets for the price of one!  When Perfidious Albion started getting splendidly reliable South Canadian tanks that fired high-explosive shells, the life-expectancy of 88 mm gun crews abruptly dropped.
     Back on track.

3.7" - in case you'd forgotten

     This gun fired an even bigger shell than the dreaded 88 mm, so people ask why Perfidious Albion didn't use it to shoot tanks?  Anti-aircraft guns tend to have very high muzzle velocities, in order to shoot down those annoying aircraft types, and a very flat trajectory, for the better calculation of how to shoot down said annoying types, both of which make them incidentally good at shooting those equally annoying tank types.
     I shall explain, but not today, as we've had enough of ancient artillery models, and plus I can see your brain glazing over.

Brian Glazer.  Close enough.

"Dramaturge"
I always wondered what on earth this was, or possibly off-Earth, ever since seeing it as the title of a sci-fi novel: "The Dramaturges of Yan".  By John Brunner, I think.
       Art?

Looks impressive, nicht war?
(Probably worthy and dull)

     It turns out that Ol' John wasn't making it up, as a dramaturge is a real proper job/person, involving liaison between a theatre staging a play, and the author of said play, yeah even to the extent of doing editorial work on the play.
     There's a joke in there somewhere but!  the phones are heating up and I need to go do that work thing, which is what they pay me for.***


Next!


What The Best-Dressed Cake Is Wearing
You have seen my naked Sticky Date, Rum and Caramel Cake, although at the time it hadn't been given a topping of Dulce de Leche.  Art?

At work

     There you go.  On advisement the pieces are rather small, as the topping is basically spreadable toffee and makes the whole thing taste remarkably sweet.  Of course your humble scribe has to take other people's word about how delicious it was, because - that caramel is a clue - I cannot partake.  THANK YOU DIABETES THANK YOU SO MUCH!
     <pauses to calm his racing pulse and seething rage>

Finally -

Lest ye forget -

Sharks Are Our Friends!

*  NATO nuclear land-mines were a real thing.
**  Except Atomic itself, of course.
***  Even prospective world dominators gotta eat.

White Walkers?

There Has Been SNOW ...

I felt that I ought to add in an ellipsis there instead of three exclamation marks, because that would be unseemly, hysterical and nearly Continental levels of emotion.  However, because there is a light dusting of the chilly white stuff, the entire country will have ground to a halt.  The traffic was backed up for a mile into Royton today, but I got a lift in <thumbs nose at First Bus> which meant I sped quickly to my appointment with AN HYPODERMIC SYRINGE!  <blenches with horror>  Art?

     Notice all the white and the people walking, which is where the title of today's blog comes from and is in no way a click-baiting reference to that modest cult success 'Game of Thorns" or somesuch.

They filled THIS MANY with my precious go-juice!

Blowing Cold And Hot

We are back to the Battle of Medenine again, because I've already written it out and thus you get to hear about it, willingly or not.*  If you recall, your humble scribe was contesting the British losses quoted on Wikipedia, because they were wrong.  WRONG WRONG WRONG! - just to be clear.

     “But – but – but – why would the Axis lie?” I hear you quibble.  To save face, of course.  The Axis forces suffered an absolute drubbing in what was probably the stupidest battle Rommel ever planned.  They lost about 50 tanks, which remained on the battlefield; when they sneaked back after dark to try and recover them, they were dissuaded by artillery fire.  Lots of artillery fire.

Howlingly ironic credit

     To further prove that Rommel’s reputation is nothing like as excellent as believed, a post-script from Monty:  “He is trying to attack me in daylight with tanks, followed by lorried infantry. I have 500 6pdr atk guns dug in...I have 400 tanks...good infantry...and a great weight of artillery. It is an absolute gift, and the man must be mad.”

     I think there’s still some content to be squeezed from this topic, like an unfortunate lemon slice going through the press seven times too often.**

One of these is hard-working, reliable and easy to maintain.  The other is a Tiger tank

Blowing Hot And Cold

Hmmm.  I expect the Ruffian ambassador to be making a formal protest to the Court of Saint James any moment now, because you know Ruffian officials - anxious to avoid getting blamed for anything, and liable to blame other folks at the merest hint of a whisper of a hat about to be dropped.
     "What is the drunken old duffer going on about now?" I hear you ask.
     Pausing only to observe that it is only 12:26 post meridian, and that the strongest thing to pass my lips has been cobalt-salted nitromethane coffee, I shall explicate.
     It's the "Beast from the East".  Art?

Thus

     You can expect that ambassador complaining at such a negative association, because all Ruffia and Ruffians are made of sugar and rainbows.*** Or he'll complain that Perfidious Albion is nicking their winter, because - er - because - well, just because.

Hark At The Shark!

You've already seen this at a distance, but Conrad has decided that it needs to be brought to the forefront, for your attention, because Sharks Are Our Friends.  Art?

I park the shark

     Designed and crafted by Darling Daughter, there are no other such pendants anywhere in the world, not that I'm being elitist about it - oh, okay, I am.  It's Carcharodon Carcharias, or the Great White to you, as found in various marine environments, including the Pacific.

     Which, given that the Pacific is east of Perfidious Albion, means it's a -

"The Devil's Dictionary"
Oh my.  I remember going on about Ambrose Bierce, waaay back when BOOJUM! was merely a paragraph of text with no pictures.  He is the cynic responsible for TDD, which has nothing to do with Satan per se; rather, it presents a very, very jaundiced view of humanity.  Take the word "abatis" as an example.  Art?

Abatis: a breastwork or defence

   Under Ol' Amb, it becomes "Rubbish in front of a fort, to prevent the rubbish outside from molesting the rubbish inside."
     I have an edition of it lurking somewhere, and it truly makes hilarious reading.
     As for Ol' Amb himself, nobody knows what happened to him, except that he disappeared in Mexico in 1914 during one of their periodic revolutions, and his body hasn't been found since.^

*  I'm horrid like that
**  I have a way with words, haven't I?
***  And vodka.
^  Abducted by aliens.  The only explanation