I Don't Plan To Have A Long Intro To The Intro
But we'll see how this goes, as a creative head of steam and nobody to edit means we may ramble a bit. Then again, you wouldn't be here if you wanted veracity, celerity or brevity, would you? Art!
Just to display as proof that I've completed the 1,000 piece 'Avengers' jigsaw, including the piece of Thor's ankle that I dropped on the floor three days ago and which has been cunningly hiding from sight under a bit of cabling.
ANYWAY Conrad did wonder about which came first, the Chicken Littlewit or the egg, which in this metaphor is the television series 'The Avengers' or the comic. It turns out the television series, which allows me to put up an illo. Art!
Honor Blackman resplendent in leather as 'Kathy Gale' and indeed she was a storm force to be reckoned with.
ANYWAY AGAIN we return to 'The Sky Is Falling Down' theme, and as telegraphed above we're going to look at the idiots first, beginning with Chicken Little, whom flew - do you see what I - O you do - into a panic when an acorn fell on her head, immediately pole-vaulting to the conclusion that the sky was falling. Art!
Along the way to inform the King of this salient fact, the fowl manages to co-opt Henny Penny, Loosey Goosey and Lucky Ducky into her panic-parade. I would suggest a high-fibre diet for Goosey, and Ducky to change her name, as the collective of chuckleheads get eaten by Foxy Loxy. Doesn't sound very lucky to me. Fortunately for Loxy, Littlewit avoided recruiting Hound Abound, Rhino Albino or Welephant. Art!
No, that is NOT Brian May, the guitarist from Queen. It's Sir Isaac Newton, whom developed the Universal Theory Of Gravitation after observing an apple fall to the ground from an - you may be ahead of me here - apple tree. Contrary to popular legend, he was not struck on the head by said apple, but if he was then Conrad sincerely doubts he would have gone raving off to the court of King Charles II about it.
Okay, back to that somewhat inaccurate list compiled by 'Top Movies' about '20 Best Human Extinction Movies' since many do not reallllly feature extinction. Art!
Tripod skirmish line with sweepers
"WAR OF THE WORLDS (2005)": Yes, the Spielberg iteration, with Tom Cruise not saving the human race; rather, airborne pathogens fatal to the invading Martians see them off. Humanity is not rendered extinct, even if Hom. Sap. is severely whittled down. Art!
A bit of property renovation also needed, but nothing that a bit of duct tape and Gorilla Glue can't fix.
"THE MIST": Again, TM is over-reaching. At most the atmospheric phenomenon, that shrouds the appearance of multiple monsters of various sizes, is restricted to the New England geographical area of New England in South Canada. Hardly a global problem. South Canadian exceptionalism at work again! Art?
You need an industrial-size can of Raid, mate.
The ending is both extremely weak, as the lead protagonist CANNOT COUNT when it comes to bullets, and completely undercuts the 'extinction' criteria, as the South Canadian army, rolling heavy with main battle tanks, turns up to save the day. Apart from those who have become monster chow or SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER un-alived themselves. Art!
Or flamethrowers. Flamethrowers work as well.
"CONTAGION": This one gets an honourable mention, coming as it did in the aftermath of SARS, and predicting, in an over-the-top manner, how COVID-19 was going to impact the world nine years later. Art!
You might compare it to 'Outbreak' on a global scale and Hom. Sap. gets truly centimated as 25 million die from the virus before a vaccine is developed. So, no extinction, especially as the disease is only (!) fatal in 25% of cases. HOWEVER - ah that word again! - losing that many people causes chaos worldwide as things like rubbish removal and potable water services suffer.
"ANNIHILATION": More reaching, since this deals with an area similar to 'The Zone' in 'Stalker', meaning it's a strictly limited area, even if it is expanding, and moreover it's in South Canada so we here in This Sceptred Isle are safe for decades, yah boo sucks to be you. Art!
The story is about an all-female exploratory team venturing into 'The Shimmer', where all sorts of weird things are going on, animals and plants are mutating and exploration teams coming to grief as they also change. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER The Shimmer itself gets annihilated thanks to <checks script> use of phosphorus grenades. Glad it was that easy. And, to underline the point, NO extinction, apart from The Shimmer. Art!
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| Pod People? |
"KNOWING": This one does indeed deliver on the extinction front, getting there through an implausible plot full of holes and hokey, involving extra-terrestrials, predictive numbering - but only for South Canada - time capsules, people unable to use a pen and paper and 'whispering'. Art!
Yep, the whole planet and everyone remaining on it is completely destroyed by a gigantic solar flare, the end. Sorry if that spoiled it for you*.
Okay, there we are half-way through, as good a place as any to stop and move on to other items.
What On Earth?
Another of those oddities that keep cropping up on Youtube between and in vlogs I'm watching, and this one is quite bizarre. Art!
Okaaaaay, a Chicken Coop Clearance sale, which I screenshotted well before mentioning Chicken Littlewit, so that's not the cause of the algorithm going weird. Conrad vaguely remembers there was another advert about earthquake and solar-flare resistant plastic chicken coops so assumes this follows on from that. Also, this structure looks enormous, there's no way I'd be able to fit it into the backyard and have room for anything else.
Conrad: Combatting Clickbait One Culprit At A Time
Yes, 'Daily Express' I'm looking - more accurately, glaring - at you. They keep doing this with films and television programs and we here at BOOJUM! have had enough. Art!
The show is 'Mr. In-between', concerning the violent criminal Ray, whom you see above, and if he's smiling, it's going to be the bad hair day to end all bad hair days for some unfortunate soul. He's also the divorced father to a young teenaged girl, to whom he tries to be the best dad possible, hence the 'in-between' part of the title. Ray isn't especially big or muscly, just frighteningly intent when it comes to dishing out the damage. He operates on a strict moral code, which is not yours or mine, but it's his and he sticks to it.
The overall critical consensus is that series kicks bottom and you're better off for watching it.
Like A Bridge Over Rubled Waters
Yes, I'm afraid that Krim and it's problems is getting another mention. Art!
'Krimskiy' Most Lomitsiya- 'Crimean Bridge Backlog'
There are a couple of film clips and still doing the rounds that purport to be queues of traffic at the Kerch Strait Bridge. In fact they show a huge traffic jam in Armenia.
What you see above is the real thing, but well out of date. There are now something along the lines of 2,500 orc cars waiting to leave via the bridge, while the Ukrainians leave it standing, with delays of up to 5 hours. The security people are going over every single car with dogs and mirrors and hand-held gadget detectors to ensure no more car bombs get onto the bridge.
Putinpot, of course - obviously! - has completely ignored Krim and it's Krisis, as he doesn't want to acknowledge anything negative.
The time to watch the bridge will be when outgoing traffic dwindles to naught, as then the Kozaky won't have a reason to leave it standing. Art!
Finally -
Darling Daughter is up for a late Fathers' Day visit and I now have a box of assorted Turkish Delight, which I will only eat a single piece of per day. Promise.
* But not much.
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