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Wednesday, 3 June 2026

Miniature Flying Mallets

One Of Conrad's Less Than Precise Phrases

Concerning the Lancasters and Stirlings of the Brylcreem Boys during the Second Unpleasantness, is to refer to them as 'Giant Flying Mallets', in terms of what damage they inflicted upon the Teutons.  These were very large, four-engined bombers carrying a payload of 6 tons at a minimum.  Art!


      There's one of 617 Squadron's Lancs breaching the Mohne dam.  You have to understand how robust a fe

     ANYWAY let us now dart off at a tangent.  This blog is going to be published Friday but Conrad is typing it up on Wednesday 3rd June, which is significant because it's when Mordorvia holds the 'St Petersbug International Economic Forum', where the orcs lie ceaselessly about how wonderful the economy of Mordor is going and would you like to invest, please?  Art!


     Normally you can guarantee that Bunker Midget Grandad will attend to make a keynote speech, since he gets to show off to an array of international guests, including, quite unremarkably, a South Canadian representative.  You can bet the Trump administration would not only not have boycotted the 1981 Olympics in Moscow over the invasion of Afghanistan, they'd have gladly attended and paid for the whole lot.

     ANYWAY Art!


     Here is Putinpot at the 2025 SPIEF, making a speech someone else wrote for him, as he has not the slightest clue about economics, and thinks you can reduce inflation and interest rates by shouting at them.  You may recall my comments on Twitter about a recent meeting he had with various economic and financial talking heads, complaining about how the macro-economic indicators were not increasing, and yet neither he nor anyone there dared mention the war, which was the herd of elephants in the room.

      I think it's now time to introduce the Miniature Flying Mallets.  Art!

'Dron Bombarduvalnyk' in Ukrainian

     You may be able to tell from the watermark that this map is the work of 'Dronebomber', who posted it on Twitter last night.  Unusually, there are relatively few drones going for Krim, and a heck of a lot heading in the direction of Barad Duh.

     DB always cautions that the numbers - 310 last night - and directions are only approximations, probably with a deliberate degree of ambiguity built in to avoid helping the orcs. 

     Pop quiz, how far is it from the Ukrainian border to St. Petersbug?  

     Quick answer, 850 kilometres to 1,100 kilometres depending on the launch point.  Conrad is unsure about how long the flight time for a Firepoint or Hornet drone is to St. Petersbug but anticipates that a good few of those on DB's map above will be heading there.  

     Why so?  Art!


     This is the skyline of St. Petersbug this morning.  Those drones headed apparently for Barad Duh were, instead, aiming for the second city, where they've hit the oil refinery just outside the suburbs, the Kronstadt naval base and a military plant in Tambov.  Art!


     That's a closer view of the oil terminal being hit, with lots of what the Kozaky call 'Bavovna', and a couple of startled orcs pondering what's going on and why things are exploding.  Art!


     This is one of the rabid rascals responsible for wreaking havoc this morning.  One thing you cannot tell from these illos is that there are no air raid sirens going off in the background, principally because that might alarm those attending the SPIEF.  Never mind the residents, they cant take their own chances.

     Conrad is unsure how much an FP1 drone weighs, and cannot find any details online about it either, meaning that the Kozaky may be keeping that info under wraps.  They can vary the size of warhead used, with a 50 kilo one for maximum range.  Art!

 

     Here's what must be hideously embarrassing for Putinpot: the delegates for SPIEF assembling for the forum under the backdrop of fires and smoke extending to the horizon.  The excuse of a 'technical mishap' tends to crumble under the presence of at least four different columns of 'Bavovna'.

     In fact it's going to be questionable as to whether Charlie Chipmunk Cheeks turns up at all, or merely appears on a monitor, or sends one of his doubles to attend, since there is the possibility of his delicate epidermis being under threat.  Art!


     A light-hearted orc looking horribly amused at the carnage he's supposed to be stopping, gazing out to the fires raging at the oil terminal.  He's a member of a rather laughably titled 'Mobile fire group' tasked with shooting down drones.  Art!


 - except they're not exactly mobile, are they?  Nor are you likely to bring down an FP1 with small arms.  Although there was a lot of small arms fire down at the naval base, they didn't down any drones.
     Predictably, the Kozaky and friends have been gloating non-stop on Twitter all this morning.  We shall see what cope the Ruffians come back with.  

Frank Hampson Did It Better

Shame on you if don't realise that Frank and his studio were the ones responsible for creating and illustrating 'Dane Dare'.  They had a certain design of spaceship that was straight out of the Forties and organisation borrowed from the RAF of the Second Unpleasantness.  Art!


     These rocketships plainly launch from an upright position, to which they are raised from horizontal, as seen in the example lying prone at starboard.     Why am I referencing all this?  O I thought you'd never ask!  Art?


     You can see the DNA from Frank in the lines of SpaceX, which is good, as SpaceX is a real spaceship and Frank's only came from his imagination.  

     Despite Conrad re-reading "The Expanse" do not be confused about the 'Torch' because it's not a fusion one.  


Revisiting 'Charley's War'

Charley's company has been forced back from their front-line trenches and are having to improvise a hasty line, digging connecting trenches between craters and putting up barbed wire in front of them.  Art!


 

     That's the wiring party carrying and unspooling barbed wire from the drum of it they hold between them on a bit of pipe.  They're a bit close to the impromptu trench line.  Art!


     Here's a chap malleting a screw piquet into the ground once the wire has been attached.  They were designed to have any long, thin, flat object put through the circular top so they could be silently screwed into the ground, but in this instance speed is of considerably more importance than stealth.

     In reality it was the Teutons who had to resort to joined-up shell craters by the end of the Somme campaign, when underground concrete bunkers with beds and electricity were but a distant memory.


Today Is Day Seven Of The Orange Landwhale's Absence

People on Twitter (ha! take that Elong Tusk!) have been pointing out that Donnie Dorko hasn't appeared in public for seven days now, ever since he came back from Walter Reed Hospital.  The White House hasn't bothered to comment, but when this happened last year people were speculating that he was dead.

     'How can you tell?' is my horrid response.

     He proved to be alive, and there was never any explanation of his absence, which is strange for a man who lives to be the centre of attention.  Informed opinion had it that he'd suffered a stroke.  One wonders what excuses will be dreamed up this time?  Art!


     Wow, looks like the lights are on but nobody's home in the case of Pumpkinhead.


More Of Molasses

Technically, of treacle, as I recalled the title of one of the 'Uncle' novels, which was 'Uncle and the Treacle Trouble'.  Alas, I cannot recall more than the title, as I must have last read it about 55 years ago.  I wonder if we prod Art hard enough he'll come up with the goods?


     That's Uncle in his purple dressing gown, and the Old Monkey, and Beaver Hateman hurling copious amounts of sticky goo at our hero.

     The plot?  I'm so glad you asked!

"The story involves the Badfort crowd's attempt to sabotage a mural commissioned by the King of the Badgers, which leads to Uncle being trapped in a cinema with a hidden iron cage, from which he is rescued by his allies."

     Makes perfect sense to me.


Finally -

I keep forgetting we have frozen spiced edamame beans in the freezer.  Perhaps if I write it down my calcified brain cells will remember.



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