359 Days Early

Or 6 Days Late

Depending on your perspective, you know, if you're one of those 'glass half-empty' or 'glass half-full' folks, and not one of the 'did you spill my drink!' followed by fisticuffs folk.

     For yes, we are that late for Halloween 2024, yet that early for 2025, much like that pumpkin I bought last week that I've not done anything with yet.  Pumpkin soup?  Pumpkin pie?  We shall see.  Art!

     There you go, no messing about today, just right into a retrospective of on excellent horror film, which for some reason has cropped up twice on my Youtube selection.  Now, don't be disappointed when I inform you that NOTD was made in monochrome and not colour as this duplicitous poster suggests, because it was directed by Jacques Tourneur, a Hollywood auteur who made excellent use of light and shadows.  The demon in question has very little scream screen time and NOTD works by virtue of creating an atmosphere of suspense and dread anticipation, more than gore.  Art!

Beginning bookend

Ending bookend

     The story is taken from "Casting The Runes" by M. R. James, and we did mention it in the blog once, six years ago in passing, so here is a deeper dive.

     Dana Andrews stars as 'John Holden', a straight-laced South Canadian scientist who scorns the supernatural, until he's faced with incontrovertible evidence that it not only exists, it has targeted his bottom for termination.  Art!

     The murder instrument is a runic script (see above), passed to him covertly, which will ensure he is the anti-apple of the titular demon's eye.  The paper is endowed with a variety of half-life and seeks to destroy itself as soon as possible after being inflicted.  Who is the sinister villain doing the dirty deeds?  None other than Julian Karswell, the leader of a Satanic cult, who wants to stop John poking his long, inquisitive nose into said satanists doings and delvings.  Art!

     Here is Niall Macginnis in possibly his best role, in his tramp guise as he throws a Halloween party for local children, and blithely catching John breaking into his mansion.  Karswell is possibly the politest-ever villain seen in a horror film, being genial, affable, quietly-spoken and possibly out of his depth.  Yes, he seems exceedingly wealthy, yet he cautions his mother that his riches and possessions don't come from thin air - "Nothing for nothing", and he has a definite position in an hierarchy of fear.  Art!

     This is near the climax of the film, where Karswell has kind-of-abducted Joanna, the niece of another scientist he'd de-clogged via demonic intervention.  He'd hypnotised her 'to prevent idle chatter on the train', he alleges, which I don't think Network Rail would quite go for today.

     The point is made here by Joanna, when roused, that Karswell is a very frightened man, well aware that there is considerable scope for collateral damage when Ol' Horny - the demon, do keep up! - appears to fillet John.

     Here is where the producer, Hal Chester, decided to add-in a model demon, which continues to stoke controversy to this day.  Does the up-front appearance of the demon cheapen the ending? or does it provide a fitting denoument?  Conrad himself can't help but feel that Holden's fleeing an invisible monster in the woods beyond Karswell's mansion is more effective.  Art!

"The blasted thing's invisible!"

     Shades of "Forbidden Planet", hmmm? which was a 1957 production, too.  The studios were separated by an ocean so I doubt there was any stealing going on.

     Mr MacGinnis left the acting profession in 1975, and returned to what he had qualified as all those years ago; a doctor, which is a factoid utterly unknown to Conrad, as was the fact that he served in the Royal Navy in the Second Unpleasantness as a surgeon.  Since he was born a citizen of the Irish Republic, he could have sat it out on dry land.  Props to the guy!

     ANYWAY this is one to keep an eye out for, as long as you don't confuse it with the "Curse Of The Demon", which is a cut-down version clocking only 83 minutes, hacked about in order to fit in on a double-bill at South Canadian cinemas.  Good job Jacques never invoked a demon of his own .....

"Hal kept having horrible nightmares"

I Found Another One!

That is, another 'Tech Freeze' video of mechanical wood-choppers, because the last few from the other video (boasting 19 wood-chopping machines) were all large, safely designed and remotely operated, which is great for the Health & Safety Executive, less so for people hunting for blog content.  Art!

     This one uses a geared cam to propel a ram forward, meaning anything in front of it is going to be compressed against the fixed blade, which, if Art will cease however briefly sucking uranium out of that fuel rod - 

Pare us the cutter

     Anything that gets in front of that ram is going to be split apart.  BUT things are not as dangerous as they seem, for whoever designed this engine realised that getting an arm or hand severed was bad for business.  Art!

     Check the first picture, where this lever is horizontal, because the ram is not moving.  Here the operator hoiks it up through ninety degrees and the ram punches forward.  5/10 not bad.

Blunderbirds!

No, Conrad has not suddenly thrown a mental gear and decided he doesn't like Gerry Anderson's stuff any more.  I will blatantly nick some "Thunderbirds" images to make my scurrilous and satirical point, mind.

     In the end credits of "Thunderbirds" the camera focussed closely on one of International Rescue's craft, then zoomed out to reveal which one it was.  Art!

Can you guess what it is yet?

     It's pretty obvious.  Art!

     I have a puzzle for you along similar lines.  Art!

     You might be thinking along the lines of "DIY disaster"?  "Badly-put together model kit"? or "Drunken apprentice wearing blindfold goes awry".

     Nope, although that last one is closest.  Art!

     It's the highly-touted (by the Ruffians) Su-57 at a Chinese air show, showing all the screws and gaps filled in with Polyfilla.  This is supposed to be a 5th generation stealth fighter.  No wonder their last arms exhibition in the Middle East got no orders.

No I Am Not Staying Up Until 06:30!

This is being written at 12:16 on 6th November, as I like to get a head start on the next day's blog, and I'll be doing the weekly shop after finishing work, thus this attempt to get R done well before then.

     I did wonder why there was so little coverage of the South Canadian election on Youtube, before the penny dropped.  Art!

     Because their East Coast is five hours behind the UK and their West Coast is eight hours behind.  So on the coast of California it's only 16:21, and voting will likely continue until 22:00, or 06:00 Greenwich Mean Time.  Conrad needs all the beauty sleep he can get.  Art!

     Ol' Dave is doing a live stream as of right now, which has actually started and which I may glance at for a moment or two, given that I also have to finish watching that episode of "The Umbrella Academy".  

You What?

Conrad spotted this amongst his Youtube thumbnails and cannot make heads, tails or middles out of it.  Art!

     What on earth are they babbling about?  Is this reality television?  A sport of a peculiar variety?  AI-generated word salad?  Or even world-salad?

     Yes yes yes, I could click on it to find out.  Which is exactly what they want me to do.  So I shan't.

If I Were To Say "Hurricane"

You'd Probably Tut And Shake Your Head

Convinced that I was going to go on a rant about the humble Hawker Hurricane, the mainstay of Perfidious Albion's air force at the beginning of the Second Unpleasantness, and also an airframe capable of being adapted to many different configurations.  "Dr Peter Caddick-Adams" of Twitter posted an unusual and colour photograph of a Hurricane just today.  Art!

Courtesy of the Imperial War Museum

     We did cover this on the blog, eighteen months ago, and your memorymay be a tad deficient, so I shall repeat myself for your elucidation.

     What looks like a Hurricane mounted on the world's shortest railway track is the 'Armed' part of "Catapult Armed Merchantman", which was a civilian freighter of considerable length, able to support a rocket-sled that propelled said Hurricane off the deck at 160 miles per hour.  Art!

     This is a test run of the catapult on a ship at anchor.  Note that the Hurricane pilot did not control the catapult ignition; that was done by another officer entirely.  An interim measure, yet an effective one.  Art!

     I shouldn't waste word count on what the Intro's not about but I couldn't resist this Hurricane,  nicknamed the 'Flying Can Opener'.  It mounted two 40 mm cannon under the wings and was used to strafe Afrika Korps vehicles, whom did not enjoy being under deadly attack from the skies (remember this for later).  Art!

     The there's this unlovely melon-farmer, which is predictably Ruffian, known as the "Uragan", which is their barbarous version of the noble British "Hurricane", as if th

     ANYWAY 

     HURRICANE: "A severe, often destructive, storm, a wind of force 12 on the Beaufort scale, with speeds of over 72 m.p.h." from the Amerind "Hura" meaning "Wind", which is still less barbarous than Uragan.  Art!

     Say a hearty "Hello!" to Kyle, of his "Geography King" Youtube channel, who has put up an interesting, if rather gloomy, vlog on The Most Dangerous Places In South Canada.  You're probably ahead of me here, as the first type of natural disaster encountered are - 

HURRICANES: A cautionary word to those of you who anticipate visiting Florida between August and November inclusive, because this is Hurricane Season for these tropical cyclones.  They are, á la Kyle, the most numerous of all the natural disasters that befall South Canada.  Art!

Before

After

     What you might call the 'engine' of a hurricane is warm water, which is what cranks up the Category, thus the areas at biggest risk are those on the Gulf and southern Atlantic coasts, and Kyle has a handy-dandy map showing the hurricane-heavy areas.  Art!

     Purple is where a hurricane may make landfall, and Florida really looks like a target here.  Notice that the risk area extends way up the Atlantic coast, a lot further than I realised.  Kyle, ever the voice of reason, explained that these waters aren't as warm as Florida - the clue is in the name - so any tropical cyclones that hit will only rarely get up to Category Three.  On the down side, these areas are far less prepared to host hurricanes, both in terms of emergency procedures and resilient architecture.  Can you imagine FEMA* trying to convince bolshy New Yorkers that they need to get their grab-bag and move inland?  Art!

     Yes, conceptually it looks like an AI was prompted by "Do Jackson Pollock over a map of South Canada".  This is the tracks of 45 hurricanes that made landfall on continental South Canada over the past 20 years: 18 were Category One, 9 were category Two, 9 were Category Three, 7 were Category Four and (only, thankfully!) 2 were Category Five.  Art!

     This is one of the Category One storms that hit New York.  The effect was compounded by them not being prepared or experienced in hurricane mitigation.

     So - beware when holidaying in South Canada and be wary of the time of year and your location - stay safe!  Don't forget to run if you hear a siren going off when you're pretty sure it's not the Ruffians attempting to start the Third Unpleasantness, because that's the hurricane warning.  And you're welcome.

     <Conrad leaned back in his chair, appreciative of This Sceptred Isle's frequently disgustrous yet very rarely dangerous weather>

"The War Illustrated Edition 197 5th January 1945"

Let us see what photographs the censor has allowed through, shall we? Conrad confesses he's usually forgotten what these are as it's ages since I took the photos of the photos.  Art!

     

     That map at lower starboard (helpfully enlarged above) indicates what the Teutons found so unpleasant about fighting Tito's partisans; they could whistle up air support from the Brylcreem Boys of the RAF at short notice.  Not only that, Perfidious Albion was close enough across the Adriatic, which it ruled, to send troops.

     At top a huddle of nervous Teutons lie down under the eyes and rifles of watchful Partisan guards.  Lower port, we see a Teuton stronghold that had been visited by the RAF, who came to say hello with rockets and machine guns.  To starboard is a Partisan machine gun team, harassing retreating Teutons, and at bottom the Royal Artillery have landed at Risan (see map) to deliver the good news.  Art!

     Note that they are using the dinky little 75 mm Pack Howitzer, which could be broken down into smaller loads, the easier to get it up mountainsides.

     No, Vulnavia, nothing about the Battle Of The Bulge.  Patience, my sweet, patience!

Celebrating Today, It Being -

November the Fifth.  Art!

     What's this?  Why, none other than a Liebherr jib crane in action, putting together a skyscraper in the fair city of New York, thus being an apt picture and topic for the ongoing South Canadian erection, which everyone seems to be making an especially big fuss about.  O and WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS!

Blogger Still Algorithm Hogger

Conrad did think the traffic algorithm had re-set, thanks to us starting a new month, and for a couple of days the traffic figures were believable.  Not now!  Art?

     At an average of over 500 hits per day, this means November's total stands to be over 16,000, which is bonkers.  A sop to the ego, yes, and almost wholly fake.

     First world problems, hmmmmm?

Dog Food

One of the most acutely-observing commentators on the Norc soldiers turning up inside Modern-day Mordor is Jake Broe, on his vlogs under his Youtube channel "Jake Broe".  This is because he spent 6 years in South Korea and both speaks and reads Korean.  He pointed out how very formal and polite conversations between Koreans are, thanks to both culture and language, and that their Ruffian liaison officers are going to inadvertently trample roughshod over this necessary behaviour.  Art!

     That's Korean labelling for 'Dog Meat', not that any Ruffian soldiers can read it, they just open up the tin and begin scoffing.

     Until they find out what they've been stuffing their faces with.  Art!

     This particular Fido will never wet the carpet, steal food or bark at the postie.  The Ruffian soldier who posted this was disgusted, although it's not clear if that was merely the concept of eating dog, or anger at man's best friend being turned into canned spam.

Finally -

Night has fallen, it's quite dry yet the artillery barrage of fireworks is very muted so far.  Good! says Edna.

*Federal Emergency Management Agency, the sinister organisation that conspires to send South Canadians to death camps and has done so for the last 25 years, according to the swivel-eyed loonwaffles.

The Saxon Chartularies Have It

Not A Sentence You Expected To Hear Today

Me neither until I ventured forth into the big wide world this morning, for Lo! Your Humble Scribe had to get to 'Oak Gables' surgery in Shaw to have a diabetic eye test done.  The eye test itself is no great problem, it's the hanging around in the waiting room whilst the Tropicamide-laced eye drops take effect.  Jodie, the paramedic doing the eye testing today, had never heard that poverty-stricken Ruffian gopniks use Tropicamide to get high, so Conrad broadened her horizons ever so slightly.  The inevitable fly in the ointment was public transport to and from Shaw, which only runs once every half hour, or forty minutes when running late, as the 182 was.  Art!

     This is how our trans-Atlantic cousins will view 'Oak Gables Surgery' when in fact it's just a big two-tone NHS box, whose archite

     ANYWAY I was struck by bus posters visible on buses as I made my way to Shaw, and several had "Paddington In Peru" present.  Art!

     Of course - obviously! - this set the gears a-grinding in Conrad's brain, and I began to wonder where that word 'Paddington' comes from.  You know Conrad, etymology appeals to me.  

     Doing a little digging revealed that there may have been a person of import named 'Padda', back in Anglo-Saxon times, whose name came to be bestowed where he held sway.  From there, it's the Saxon Chartularies which list this district as 'Padintun' as of 959 AD.  Art!

A Saxon charter

     For several centuries after Padda, the land there was owned by various churches, which leased the land out to farmers initially, and then to other slightly more grandiose artisans.  All of which is worthy yet terribly dull.  Eventually life evolved sufficiently to create Paddington Station, which, if Art will put down the coals for a tad -

     This is the station that gave it's name to Paddington the bear, as he was discovered here by the Brown family.  Let us come back to that very embodiment of all that is good and wholesome, for we have a few distaff notes present in the merry melody here.  Art!

     The gallows of Tyburn stood in the borough of Paddington, where many hundreds of miscreants met their end.  To the ghoulish English public, those who were hung here went by the euphemism of 'doing the Paddington frisk' as in a dance, and public hangings whilst they were still a spectator sport were called 'Paddington Fair days', and not doubt the hawkers of otter's noses and rat-on-a-stick made a killing.  So to speak.  They were probably ticked-off in 1868 when hangings became private.  Art!

     Back to our beatific bear.  This, lest ye be unaware, is the original volume about Paddington, published in 1958.  The British loved this diminutive Peruvian import, and still do, because we're now on the third film in ten years about his exploits.  The original film waaaaay back in 2014 made $100 million profit so I know some of you went to see it.  That's okay, I shan't judge you, all the more so as I read a few Paddington stories back in the early Seventies myself.  Art!

     There was an animated television series, narrated by Michael Hordern, from back in the day, because there was a second animated television series as well, possibly leading to a marmalade-sandwich overdose.  Art!

     What is the appeal of this  small brown ursine?  Possibly because Paddington is the archetypal Innocent Abroad, whom, whilst he may inadvertently cause chaos and trail mayhem in his wake, is nevertheless pure of heart and out to do good to everyone.  Art!

No, I don't know who his friends are

     Michael Bentine.  Another comic Peruvian import.  Whom had something to do with Close Quarter Battle drills as picked up by the British Army and the S

     ANYWAY as I already said, people here in the Allotment Of Eden do feel very fond of Paddington, whom has assimilated the ability to queue patiently for hours, drink tea from a china cup (not sure if he cocks a toe or not) and hob-nob with the best of 'em.  Art!

Conrad unsure who is more honoured

     I think we'll leave Browning's Pool for another day.

More Of The Choppers

And slicers and scrollers and other mechanical methods of destroying the integrity of a tree-trunk in order to render it more like kindling.  Art!

     A read designer with concerns about safety has clearly been at work here, because the rotary chopper has now been encased in a shielding cover of either robust plastic or metal.  This means shredded branches don't get thrown across the landscape, even if matey has put down a tarpaulin to ensure he doesn't need to sweep up later.  Nor is there a risk of any loose or dangling clothes being caught in this device, unlike the - Art!

     This is what you might call the 'naked' version.  Dirtier, noisier and more dangerous to danglers.

I Tell Of Telleferiche

Or, more prosaically put, a 'cable ropeway', which in Italy sees much use in the mountains to transport people up and down the sloping terrain.  Erecting an aerial cable system is far quicker and cheaper than having to dig out miles and miles and miles of roads thanks to hairpin bends.  Which is why it got used as a system in the First Unpleasantness.  Art!

     Here an empty car has been sent down to the receiving station, where a mixed team of British and Romans halt the car, load it up and then send it on it's way.  Art!

Goods out

Goods far out

     If you were paying attention you'll have noticed that the returning car was merely a steel frame, and the troops doing the loading had a big wooden container already full, which they quickly slung onto the empty car.  Efficiency, you see.  Be advised that the ropeway is kept moving thanks to an engine, probably diesel, and again probably underneath that large wooden building.  Again, this will be up on the Asiago front, because that's where the big hills and bigger mountains were, unlike the flat floodplains of the Piave.

Our Journey With Bernie

Nothing from "The War Illustrated" in today's blog as you've already had Italy in the First Unpleasantness,  Let me check out and see if #31 is available.  Wait one -

     Yes it is.  Art!

"The Black Cat"

     I think I'd be more bothered about the red axe.  You don't want witnesses when you're doing dirty deeds like this, even if it can't take the stand in court against you.  Is this how Ol' Raskolnikov felt after he'd meted out a bit of axe-murderiness in "Crime And Punishment"?

This One's A Bit Of A Downer 

As I am wont to do, I was having a nosy about author Jeff Carlson last night, as I'm currently reading one of his novels: "Plague War", published in 2008.  What did I discover?  That he waltzed off this mortal coil in 2017, thanks to lung cancer.

     Aged 48, which is a short innings.  That'll teach me to go snooping.

     There's a quadrology he penned before departing, about the discovery of life on one the Jupiter's moons, which I may venture to explore.

Tomorrow!

Is the Fifth of November, Bonfire Night, when folks across the Allotment Of Eden congregate to risk death and mutilation thanks to readily-available explosive devices.  Though I don't remember seeing any in Morrison's this year.  Perhaps they've decided that kids emptying out used fireworks to create bigger bangs is bad for profits?

      O and there's something going on in South Canada, too.  Art!

     A ritual burning of trainers, bibles, trading cards and watches?

Finally -

The natives are either stupefied or have run out of ammunition, as things have been quieter than yesteryon, which in turn was quieter than the yesteryon before that.  All good news for Edna, who is not happy about what sounds like prolonged artillery barrages.