No, Really!

I Know What You're Thinking
 - but if they call them "The Palaces of Parliament" it would give the wrong image, because there are other proper palaces that our monarchy sit in, of equal Gothic splendour to those that our splendidly upright political representatives sit in.
     Oh?  That's not what you were thinking?

Splendid, eh?

     You were wondering if - what's that?  If sharks really are our friends?
     But of course they are!  What on earth made you question that fact?
     Oh.  Yes,  "Deep Blue Sea", a film that Conrad classifies as "Anti-shark porn".  Mutatis mutandis, let us consider this film from the shark's point of view.

C

      Note that I did not resort to that desperate Cro-Magnon Art there.
     Anyway!  'Deep Blue Sea'.  If I may recap the plot, there are three super-intelligent sharks that are being kept in captivity, experiencing horrid scientific experimentation upon their good selves, for the purposes of battling dementia amongst humans.

Demented human

    If this research can prevent the above photo from happening, nothing is too much!
    Unless, that is, you're a shark.
     Since these are super-intelligent sharks, one supposes that they have overheard the science staff talking about harvesting their sharky brains in order to come up with the Magic Mind Medicine.  Given that, do you honestly expect them to swim quietly in their giant fish tanks, awaiting the day when they can be chopped apart and pureed into a carcharodon cocktail?

Carcharodon't!

     "In a thrilling suspense ride, our heroes battle against the odds, physiology, hydrology and the horrors of super-science gone made, until <SPOILER ALERT!> they are finally thwarted at the very last hurdle in their bid for freedom."
     There you go, DBS from the shark point of view.
     I think it's time to push the motley out of the airlock in it's leaky suit into a decaying orbit!

Which?  Human or shark?

The Shark Is My Friend, Anyway
Conrad is known for several things: being hot stuff at solving Cryptic Crosswords; being an utter coward where tattoos, spiders and hypodermic syringes are concerned; able to bake a decent fruit cake if given enough warning.
     Also, as we have seen from the above, willing to go out on a limb to try and rehabilitate the shark's reputation in the world at large.  To wit - Art?

Conrad, pens, and SHARK PENDANT!

     As you can see, I am over the moon at finally getting my shark pendant as designed and made by Darling Daughter.  I shall probably post a close-up of the rascal, which is a representation of Carcharodon Carcharias, whom you might know better as the Great White Shark.

My!  Aren't we having fun today, and the safety-wheels aren't even off yet.  Let us continue with the spirited high jinks.


Useful For Depression And Thermonuclear Warheads
Lithium, the versatile element!  The question came up in our Pub Quiz of last week: what is the atomic number of Lithium?
     Three, for your information.  Conrad had to sit and think his way through the beginning of the Periodic Table, mind you, it didn't leap to my tongue unbidden.
     "Hydrogen, Helium, LITHIUM, Boron -"

And also for -

     - it's also essential in LITHIUM-WAFER BATTERY DESIGN!  Kind of obvious, that.


Another Pub Quiz Question
'In the "Pink Panther" film, what was the Pink Panther?
     Here an aside.  The 'Pink Panther' cartoon (original series only) was very amusing indeed, bookending the titular feline with The Inspector, who was an utter dolt with a cool accordion theme.  Art?

A winning partnership

     Far, far funnier than the films, in my opinion, which is the only one that matters, especially when I take over and impose my ineluctable* will upon you all.
     Anyway - another answer that is correct but which the quizmaster wouldn't have given a point for was the answer "an SAS Landrover".  Art?

Thus

     This was not a design flaw, paint mistake or desire to blend in with the Grooveh Sixties (when they were first deployed).  Being painted a muted shade of pink happens to help them blend in fantastically well in the desert, to the extent that people will suddenly cease living thanks to big bullet holes appearing in them, whilst they wonder "Gosh!  Who or what on earth is shooting at me?"
     Oh, the 'correct' answer to the question?
     "A precision-cut piece of allotropic carbon."

Or, a diamond

     Hmmm.  Rather dull, really.  I suppose you can cut glass with it, or wear it, but you can't go tear-arsing across the sandy wastes, brassing the crap out of the bad guys with it, can you?


And with that, we are at count.  Later, humans fellow humans!



*  "Unavoidable"