Baloo Ant Tics

Go On, Give Me Some Credit -
 - for sustaining a punning train of thought.  For we have moved on from the bizarre yet deadly Operation Outward and killer balloons, and are now using Disney films as simultaneous bait and target.  Let us put Art to use.  Semi-human sloven, get it together!

All will become clear

     There you see Mowgli, and next to him is Baloo.  Baloo is the bear, just to be clear.  He is hoovering up ants, since he is a greedy reprobate who will eat anything if it stands still long enough.  And his tic is a constant smile.
     So!  There you have it.  Today's title.
     Now that we have the incredibly short Intro out of the way, it's time to blindfold the motley and send it into the razor maze!

You What?
Hmmm.  I was re-reading Alan Moorehead's "African Trilogy" this week, because I can,* and came across a couple of passages that had a particular resonance.  He had been in India and was sailing to Africa via Cape Horn, in a ship that also contained a whole lot of Teuton prisoners.  The guards were British, and very slackly commanded.  

Thus

     The prisoners plotted escape, until their plans were rumbled, and various weapons were uncovered, including a potato studded with razor blades, which reminded your humble scribe of his post about a "battle apple" -

https://comsatangel2002.blogspot.co.uk/2018/01/like-bridge-over-troubled-waters.html

     - although Conrad did consider equating a battle apple with a potato, if you're arrested carrying a raw potato and a packet of razor blades, it's harder to argue you were about to have a healthy snack.

Delicious - when cooked

Anodyne Iodine
The Beeb's website has a supposedly fascinating feature on the element iodine.  Ooh ooh Iodine, the element that's so fine - or so they allege.  Let's look at the evidence they supply, shall we - it'd present in milk, it helps human's your metabolism, it's an antiseptic -blah blah blah.  
     Bah!

Your humble scribe, not looking amused

     Is it radioactive?  Is it explosive?  Is it incredibly toxic?  Does it melt the flesh from human bones or liquefy one's brains from the inside?  No, no, no, no and no.  It is, in fact, unutterably dull stuff (from which today's 'anodyne' comes from).  Give me chlorine triflouride any day for entertainment value.

Currently doing my homework by watching "Attack of the Crab Monsters", as I have temporarily suspended watching "From Hell It Came", because the picture quality is low.  It's cinematic quality is low enough that I don't intend to torment myself even further with a dodgy print.

The tree of TERROR!

     
Conrad's Morning Sojourn
You already know that your humble scribe had a little adventure this morning, merely in getting his hair neatened.  Here it is in a little more detail, allowing you to laugh at another person's misfortune.
     Okay, from this morning onwards, the traffic in Royton has been transformed into an chaotic mess, thanks to the central crossroads being closed for sewer repairs.  Art?

The horror commences

     The alternative is to travel to the next town over, Shaw, or back up to Rochdale, which would take just as long as sitting in a traffic coagulation for twenty minutes.
     Nor is that all. O no.  Oldham council, on the principle that one cannot get enough of roadworks, have another separate set at the foot of Tandle Hill, which has caused even more traffic problems as the road is closed in both directions.  Art?

     This meant that the 409 bus was not running along the route it normally follows.  Consequently your modest artisan had to trudge a mile from home to the 182 bus stop in non-stop rain for every step of the way.  And, once on that bus, had to allow for an even longer journey as there is yet another set of roadworks in Chadderton that necessitates a long, long diversion.

On the plus side, at least Donald Fagen is still alive.  And Mystery Jets are still together.  I've not checked up on Ben Folds yet, admittedly, so I'll do that tomorrow.

Finally -
Iodine would be good if it could spifflicate human brains into a glowing green goo that oozed out of the victim's ears, thus - take it away, Art!

Delicious brains.
Er - that is, if you're a zombie.

*  And also because it's journalism of the very best variety.