Along Came A Spider

I Have Been Doing My Homework -
Of sorts.  What you might call cruel and unusual punishment is what Conrad calls RIOTOUS FUN! or something very close to it; I dare say you would jib at constructing an index for the official history of the 51st Highland Division, wouldn't you?  Not I.
     Anyway, back to the matter in hand.  Yes, I have been watching yet another Fifties sci-fi entry into what I call the "Buggers" canon, although entemologists would spit at you if you described it as a 'Giant Insect' film, because "Tarantula" features a giant spider.  Family Arachnidae, don't you know.  Art?

I hope this does not spoil the surprise

     Well now.  Here be SPOILERS!  As you can tell from the picture above, this film features a spider big as a mansard mansion.  Whilst "Tarantula" is a notable entry in the Giant Critter pantheon, we have already gone into why an arachnid cannot grow this large.  Respiration, don't you know; oxygen cannot get far enough into the beast's spiracles. 
     Back on track.  "T" makes good use of the Californian desert, including the iconic Dead Man's Point (as mentioned yesterday) and if Art can stop drooling over Mara Corday for a second -

Evocative, nicht war?

     Now, the rationale of our (refreshingly) Sane Scientists is to rear animals of enormous size and to thus solve the world's food problems -
     Hmmm.  Conrad is unsure on that score - a huge animal surely needs it's own huge supply of food?  And - what about those pesky vegans?  Dammit, some people just don't want to be saved from starvation!
     Okay, solving food problems.  THEN WHAT IS THIS?!

I mean, genuinely, WOE?*

     What were they thinking?  "Let's have a little malicious fun with this growth nutrient.  What's the STUPIDEST THING WE COULD POSSIBLY DO?" and then they created this beast, because nothing's better for shizzle and giggle than a giant spider.
     The beast escapes, in an un-necessary plot twist, because it grows to be as big as the mansion it was housed in, so it would have been able to simply break it's confines due to sheer mass.  Or did our No-Quite-So-Sane-Anymore Scientists not bother about health and safety?
     We shall come back to this film, O Yes indeed!
     Time to shut the motley in a cupboard and roll it sideways down a steep hill!


Less Witter On Twitter
Hmmm.   Conrad has been somewhat stymied by technology.  To wit: Twitter.  For the past 5 years I have been Tweeting an URL link to BOOJUM! and it brings the visitors in.  I find that they all come over at once, unlike Facebook, where they come in during the whole day.

Tastes good when roasted

     Until yesterday.  Twitter has now decided that I am, in fact, a robot.  Whilst this might not come as a surprise to some of you, it did to me.  My camouflage is perfect, after all.  So, no URL link can be posted intact.  To get the thing to work I need to add in a space, then explain what I've done in the Tweet itself <sad face>.
     Sigh.  These things are sent to try us, eh?  <angry face>.


More Witter From This Critter
Just a couple of days ago I looked at a blue plastic folder that had been sitting innocuously in the tall bookcase for long enough to acquire an impressive patina of dust.**
     "Hmmm," I said to myself.  "What's in there?"
     Thereby hangs a tale.  Art?


Original scrivel!

     This is not processed or gimmicked in any way; the paper really is browned and blotchy like that and yes, that is my spidery writing.  Done with a fine-tipped fountain pen, if you care to know.
     The contents are a collection of short stories about the supernatural, and the one I like most concerns a man who unwittingly releases a rather mischievous spirit from confinement, which subsequently attaches itself to him.  The stories are generally an example of what I used to get up to before BOOJUM! took up my hollow empty life.


Finally -
Featuring a cake with A Mystery Ingredient.  Let me poke Art with a bamboo skewer -

The cake

     Here it is.  Gluten and dairy free, though it does have eggs in there.  Made with ground almond instead of flour, and it hasn't sunken in the middle, as GF cakes tend to do.  Conrad won't be touching the horrid thing as it is hotching with chocolate.**






*  "What On Earth" because we are SFW
**  I don't care who knows my dusting skills are minimal at best.
***  Ah yes, the Mystery Ingredient.  Beetroot.