Elon's Massive Missile

Cool Your Jets!
Or not, according to circumstance, since today's title sounds like an insalubrious boast of sorts.  Let me assure you that we are talking only of rocket-propelled projectiles, and nothing else, for we here at BOOJUM! are thoroughly SFW.
     "What is the old diggler ranting on about now?" I hear you quandry.  "The drinks cabinet was locked an hour ago."
     Er - it was?  Then ignore the scratches around the lock as if made with a knife, bamboo skewer and egg-separator.  

Egg-separator: Industrial version

     What I refer to is a missile known as the 'Falcon Heavy', this being a 27-engined vehicle intended to put a payload of 64 tons into orbit, the child of Elon Musk's Space-X company.  I missed the live take-off sequence, but because we are already living in a science fiction film, I caught up with it on Youtube.  Here we have the first of a sequence where Art earns his income.  Semi-human sloven, get to work!

Poised.  POISED I TELL YOU!

     Impressive, nicht war?  This thing is taller than the Statue of Liberty.  Faster, too.  Now, the thing is, a missile - we shall not call it a rocket anymore because, being guided, it is a missile - like this with twenty seven engines, two boosters, a central core and a payload module presents many, many possibilities for things to go wrong.  Don't forget, the more complex a system, the more likelihood of an error.  So the first big test is this - Art?

Lift off.  Pretty obviously

     Actually leaving the launch pad intact.  Because some of the earlier South Canadian efforts back in the Sixties blew up on ignition, which makes for a lovely (if expensive) firework display.  We then got to see live pictures streamed back to Earth from the Falcon as it lofted to orbit.  Art?

     The picture at top shows Falcon in flight, greatly resembling a controlled explosion.  Bottom left picture shows the missile's-eye view looking earthward, and the picture bottom right is a graphic that shows whereabouts the mighty missile is.  Then we got booster separation, which is another moment when the flight crew chew their fingernails.  This was successful, and the missile core proceeded to orbit with it's payload.  Which see -

From the cockpit -

     In case you are wondering along the lines of " Why, that looks like a view from the driver's seat of a Tesla Roadster" - you'd be correct.  Art?

Elon Musk's old car

     Since this was a test shot, they weren't delivering an actual cargo, merely Elon's old car.  Hmmm.  Wonder what he does with ex-girlfriends?  Also note that they had "Space Oddity" playing on a loop.  Also also, since you may not be able to see it, the dashboard display has "DON'T PANIC" set upon it, in reference to - oh, I don't know, an obscure sci-fi comedy called 'Red Dwarf'?  Both car and driver are going to cruise leisurely around the Sun for several million years, or until traffic wardens get spaceships.
     Back to the missile, for the story is not yet over.  Art?

     Here we see the launch pad again, bereft of missiles, and in upper right the main core engines are firing.  In bottom left and right are booster-eye views of both descending to earth, setting up for the last shot - Art?

     As I said, we are already living in a science fiction film.  This is both boosters returning to land back on the launch pad, even if it looks like another launching.  The idea is that you recycle the boosters and reuse them, which is manifestly possible with a soft landing like this.  The alternative is to have them parachute down, but this means you lack any kind of control over them and they can sink if they land at sea, or hit hard and damage themselves if they land on land.  The missile core also returns to earth, so to speak, as it landed on a special barge out in the Atlantic ocean. 
     "Why reuse the rock - missiles, Conrad?" I hear you query.  "Do they want to keep space tidy?"
     Actually that's not a bad idea.  There is an awful lot of junk in Near Earth Orbit.  Art?

Junky - er - rubbishy

     Not adding to it is generally a good idea.  However, the idea of recycling missiles and boosters is that you significantly reduce the cost of operations.  Somewhat more complex than filling up the petrol tank on your car, but you get the idea.      Mister Musk, after all, has said that he wants to end his life on Mars.  A man with a vision ...


     Wow, most unusually the blog has stuck to a single theme, rather than it's usual scattershot of scrivel.  Don't worry, we'll be back to the usual nonsense tomorrow.*





*  Or will we ...**
**  Yes we will *