If That Word Shows Up In The Next Collins Or Brewer's -
Then I want royalties. Yes, we are back on that 'Discover Tech US' montage of mechanical mishaps, caused by material failure, Hom. Sap. being stupid or both simultaneously. Art!
I'm putting this illo up because the artwork is miles better than any other cover, and I'm guessing that's artist Vincent Di Fate's daub on the cover. Here's the relevant cover picture. Art!
Your Humble Scribe read it once a good fifty years ago, and the title popped into my head for absolutely no reason recently. I couldn't remember the author but the title is pretty unique. The only two things I recall are that 'Umanaq' is an actual location, and there was a dead guy being held upright by his cyberleg, which was also sounding an alarm. Art!
Scenic Umanaq
ANYWAY now that's out of the way, let us return to mayhem as caught on security cameras. As should be BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS to anyone not drunk, high or both, when you move a load with a forklift, you need to lower the centre of gravity as soon as possible, i.e. lower the forks to lessen risks. Art!
Case in point. What does this dorklift driver not do? Lower the forks. Instead he manoeuvres with the pallet at maximum height, which means the centre of gravity is also dangerously high and unstable. Art!
Good job it wasn't anything fragile or expensive. What's that? Lightbulbs? Ooops. Art!
Working at height on a wooden platform, with safety line attached to the lower corner railing. 'Training Seeker Inc' seems to be a South Canadian training organisation, but I cannot find out anything further. Art!
Whatever he was working on gives way, causing him to stumble backwards and off the platform. Art!
'Lanyards must be kept short' intones the narrator, as matey is - perhaps - saved from hitting the metal floor fifteen feet below him, but also presumably hammering into the metal wall thanks to his safety lanyard being too long and in the wrong location. There is no narration about what happened next, nor any images or stories on teh Interwebz, which by implication means he survived. Bruised. Art!
Another Ruffian dorklifter from Oleg K. What should the driver do once he's removed the pallet from the racks, children? That's right, lower the forks. What does he do instead? Art!
He tries to move with the pallet at height, and it topples. We get to see what's inside those containers, because they're not designed to withstand being dropped from twenty feet up. Art!
Liquids of some variety, possibly paint? Ah, the narrator, unusually, gives more details. This was 1,100 bottles of beer going bang. Art!
A forklift unloading an 18-wheeler. What can possibly go wrong? Art!
This can. Here the forklift is innocent, the fault lies with the dork trying to move pallets around inside the truck, because - you may be ahead of me here - this is not how you load a forklift. Art!
Logs, in case you were wondering, and even if you weren't. Not at all delicate, so no great harm done, apart from the two klutzes having to put them back into those crates by hand. Art!
Note the attribution to 'ETW' and Conrad's digging unearthed more info, which I will share to boost the Word Count and also elucidate, as that's how we roll here at BOOJUM!
An "ETW factory" likely refers to ETW Inc., a precision machining company in Waukesha, Wisconsin, known for 5-axis CNC milling, custom tooling, and serving aerospace/medical sectors
Given what we see here, I think this is a pretty close fit. Art!
Matey appears to be running tests on this pipe or rod, and has a camera set up to look down the axis of the rod. My notes on this one say 'Oscillates wildly'. Art!
It does indeed oscillate wildly, so much so it hits the camera and knocks it aside, which ought to be a cue for the operator to hit the Emergency Stop button. It does have an 'Emergency Stop' button, doesn't it? Art!
There is another rod-camera interaction, whilst Cletus The Slack-Jawed Yokel stares on in stunned incomprehension. Art!
The rod is now flailing so wildly that it begins to move the machine it's mounted in and smashes up neighbouring kit. Cletus is still immobile. Unlike that rod. Art!
Finally he kills the power to the rod before it becomes sentient and starts to stalk and kill Hom. Sap. whom it obviously has a grudge against. Note how much that 'arch' has moved from it's original placement.
I think we'll end the mayhem there for today, we still have another five minutes of madness to cover. I bet you can hardly wait.
As Is Becoming Traditional
We ruthlessly pick on 'Tank Encyclopedia' and it's clickbaity items in my news feed, featuring the worst tank ever made. Art!
'Tank Encyclopedia's temple to the Bob Semple
I have no idea what tank they might be talking about. Go on, I'll bite - which is exactly what they want me to do. Ah, I see, the French Char 1Bis. Art!
We've already covered this beast as one of the exhibits at Bovington Tank Museum,
and there's the link to the previous article, so I'm not going to spend any more time on the TE clip.
The Haul
Conrad's constitutional prowl amongst the shops of Lesser Sodom - Royton if we're being formal - was productive. Art!
I saw 'Logan' at the cinema and it really served as an excellent coda for the Wolverine and indeed the X-Men, so it's a shame they resurrected Ol' Klawz. It's as much a meditation upon aging and becoming redundant as superheroes, and nobody wears spandex. Watched it again last night and it still holds up well after eight years.
I have seen the film they made of 'John Dies At The End' of which I recall rather little, apart from it being pretty bonkers and the dog is a sacrificial hero at the end. So we shall see what the source novel is like, shan't we? Art!
Tea Or Window?
Please note that the drooling zombie General Gerasimov made a pretty definitive statement about - Art!
You may be as shocked as I was to learn that the Ruffians were lying, because who turned up at the entrance to Kupiansk on December 12th? Art!
Prez Zed, that's who
This bloke's handlers and bodyguards must be having kittens, you can hear a shell going off in the background as he speaks. This guy has cojones the size of Kherson melons. No way would you find the real Putinpot within twenty miles of the frontline. Jake Broe, visible in the top pictures, also shows how much control the orcses have over Kupiansk. Art!
Before After
The vassals of Mordorvia suffered an estimated 1,000+ casualties and completely lost the salient they had been holding, including Kupiansk. This might be the humiliation that sees Gerasimov fired, unless he enjoys drinking delicious polonium tea or diving freeform out of windows.
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