Fired For Sound

No!  This Is Not A Reference To The Album By -

Art!

      I've never heard of them and have no idea what they sound or sounded like, BUT I didn't want to demolish my street cred by beginning with the Cliff Richard album.  Hmmm perhaps their first names were all 'Susan'?

     ANYWAY today's Intro is going to be somewhat technical, for which I make no apologies because long words and scientific concepts exercise your brains.  Or so one can only hope.  It will also focus on big things that go boom, and if you want to skip the martial bit, go ahead BUT I WILL KNOW AND THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.  Just so we're clear.  Art!

      Inspired by a Twitter post on a contemporary take, I was inspired to dig these two tomes out of a pile of books - of course they were on the bottom - and am grateful that they weren't up in the Book Cavern.  Martin's work to port had a verrrry detailed Appendix about the topic, running to five and a half pages of small print, so I've gone with Paddy's more concise work.

    What am I so coyly avoiding a description of?  O I thought you'd never ask!

    Sound-ranging.  Which is - you may be ahead of me here - ranging by sound. 

     Art!

     This is Matania's painting of the Royal Artillery displaying desperate courage in withdrawing their guns at the Battle Of Le Cateau in August 1914.  They lost dozens of guns in a bitter demonstration that modern field artillery's place was most definitely NOT in the field.  Guns were emplaced miles behind the lines on both sides of the battlefield, draped in camouflage to avoid being spotted by airplanes, making sure their muzzle blast didn't create a tell-tale burnt zone.  Art!

     How, then do you locate the Teuton guns when you cannot see them, only hear them? 

     Enter Lieutenant (later Professor) Willie Bragg, a Nobel laureate in 1915 and a man with a keen scientific head on his shoulders.  But of course.  Heads not stored at alternate locations.

     ANYWAY AGAIN Bragg was asked to take over a French sound-ranging kit given to the army that had one slight technical problem: it didn't work.  Could he fix it?  Heck yes!  Art!

     The kit used six microphones to detect the sound of enemy guns firing, which moved a wire inside a galvanometer, which was in turn copied onto film.  The different microphones picked up the sound with an accuracy of 1/00th of a second, a remarkable achievement for 1916.  Art!

     In theory, one could use trigonometry as in the previous picture, and locate the enemy guns solely from their firing signature.  In theory, as remember this kit didn't work.  The French microphones could only detect high-pitched sounds, and if you have ever heard an artillery piece fire - corks, they jolly well don't squeak.

     Bragg showed determination and resolve, but it took until the autumn of 1916 before the microphone problem was beaten.  Art!

     Encapsulated here is a 'Tucker' microphone, using heated platinum wires that picked up low-frequency sounds, just what the doctor ordered.  The performance of the sound-ranging kit improved phenomenally, not only pinpointing the Teuton guns that were firing, but working out their muzzle velocity and calibre.  Forty sound-ranging units were formed, operating well behind British front lines, working best when there was an east wind blowing, and getting to locate Teuton guns as accurately as within 25 PROUD IMPERIAL yards.  For those not up to speed on artillery performance, this is Danger Close for Teuton gun crews.  Art!

     The Teutons knew, from hard experience, that the British had developed an extremely effective sound-location system, but were mystified as to how it operated.  They had only begun to experiment with sound-ranging in late 1918 and never had comparable kit of their own before the war ended.

     Bragg, in his five-page monologue, ends with a gloating order that had been captured from the Teutons, and which was published and circulated to all his sound-ranging troops.  I shall quote it here:

"Group Order

In consequence of an excellent sound-ranging of the English (!), I forbid any battery to fire alone when the whole section is quiet, especially in east wind.  Should there be occasion to fire, the adjoining battery must always be called on, either directly or through the Group, to fire a few rounds."

     Trying to muddy the acoustic waters, to mikes metaphors.

     ANYWAY ANYWAY I hope this impresses you with the sophistication of intellect and technology of one hundred and ten years ago.

     We'll be coming back to this concept.  I bet you can hardly wait.

More Gentle Shoeing

If steel-toecapped boots can ever be gentle, especially when they come in Size 11.  I am going to put up a double image that David Packman posted on Youtube as the thumbnail for his vlog.  Art!

     The one to port is a well-know photo of Donnie Dorko suffering from what seems to be stroke symptoms, unless he's sucking an extremely strong 'Fisherman's Friend'.  If you don't know, they are a British 'sweet' that is ferociously strong, more like medicine than confectionery, Conrad had some back in the Eighties and never again, thanks.  Art!

     The one to starboard looks as if he's totally off his meds and having a seizure, because his Happy Meal was cold.  His derangement is so bad that even the deranged amongst his MAGA cult are criticising him.  Art!

Owens can be described as bat, rat and cat ship crazy

 
     The poster child for buyer's regret.  

     You may not want quite so much of Pumpkinhead on the blog but I have to grab the content before he keels over dead.

Ruffian Play Sheet

1)  Take aim at feet.

2)  Shoot oneself in both feet.

3)  Insert feet in mouth.

4)  Claim all is going according to plan.

     What am I talking about?  O I thought you'd never ask!  Art?

     This is Dennis Shtillerman being interviewed about his past life.  

" In 2007 I developed a concept for automated command systems for Russia's MoD.

Thank God they never implemented it — otherwise everything would have gone very differently. Then the Georgian war started. I understood I had to leave and left."

     Shtillerman is the founder of 'Fire Point Systems'.  Yes, the Ukrainian drone manufacturers who are currently making life hideously unpleasant for the orcs.  How very ironic.

     Since he took part in the Maidan in 2014, the Ruffians stripped him of his citizenship, which he doesn't seem crushed about.

Wait One!

Your Humble Scribe just clicked on a link in my news feed announcing a major 90's Manchester band playing live at the Castlefield Bowl.  Art!

     I didn't recognise them.  They are Puressence, who reunited in 2024 and whom have wowed live audiences.  What also caught my eye was part of the blurb.

Reunited Manchester band Puressence have announced their biggest ever headline show after a triumphant comeback to the live music scene in 2024. And they will be joined by fellow Manc favourites The Chameleons.

     I saw the Chameleons many times in the Eighties and have several of their CD even to this day, and their being there would definitely pique my interest.  I may need to go sample a bit of Puressence on Youtube and see how they sound, to mix a metaphor.

     The gig is in July so three months hence, and no word or where or when tickets go on sale.  I shall keep my eyes peeled.

And On That Theme -

Conrad was suddenly stricken that he'd not seen any publicity for the music festival 'Sounds From The Other City', which usually happens around Easter or later in April.  This is where lots of venues in Salford turn their day over to hosting bands across the whole day and it's a real hoot as long as the weather stays dry.

     I did a bit of Google-fu and - Art!

Finally -

Another QI quote.

"How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when clearly it is Ocean." - Arthur C Clarke.

We Are Living In The Future

 I Keep Saying This

Because it's true, the world keeps jumping several years if not decades into the future before we are ready for it.  I have kept very quiet indeed about the Artemis II mission lunar flyby, as I hope to come back to it with links and tangents, but this is realllly big news not seen for over 50 years.  Art!

     Normally, given the horrid martial content of BOOJUM! you might believe this is an anti-aircraft missile being launched and about to intercept.  Not a  bit of it - this is the Artemis II launch being witnessed from a passenger aboard a commercial passenger airflight en route.  There are four people aboard the speeding fiery glob atop that smoke-trail, whom have an epic mission to accomplish.  Art!

     Unfortunately they have been rather overshadowed by Donnie Dorko going stark raving mad, taking the spotlight off them, which was probably deliberate as he hates not being the focus of attention.

     They had a bit of toilet trouble, which is one of the least appealing things possible in a sealed environment on a multi-day mission.  Conrad recalls one of the Apollo asstronauts describing the hideous sequence of carrying out a bowel movement in microgravity and ha

     ANYWAY back to the future.  Wow, you know, that almost sounds like an album title, sort of Yes circa 1974.  Perhaps Emerson, Lake and Palmer?  Art!

     As advanced as Artemis II may be, here you have the positive acme of Ukrainian drone warfare.  What you're looking at here is an Unmanned Ground Vehicle dubbed 'ULTRA', which is used to deliver Unmanned Aerial Vehicles to hotspots on the front lines.  The squashy Hom. Sap. element is completely removed, so no multi-mullion dollar episodes of derring-do over enemy territory recovering lost pilots.  Ahem.  Art!

     This is the Ruffian port city of Novorossiysk's oil terminal getting an absolute pasting from Ukrainian Firepoint drones, hit at least six times.  In prior days you would have needed cruise or ballistic missiles, or aircraft dropping bombs, to manage this level of damage, all of which are expensive.  What you see above was achieved by drones costing $300,000 in total, or a third of a single missile or one per cent for an aircraft.  That's one of the things that must have responsible orcs tearing their hair out, because these drones are cheap and easy to mass produce, so this damage is going to keep happening.  Art!

     This is the Alchevsk Metallurgical Plant, experiencing Ukrainian kinetic sanctions from Firepoint 2 drones, 60 kilometres from the front lines.  The orcs are now vulnerable at the operational level, far behind the contact line where they might have felt reasonably safe from HIMARS and the like.  Sadly not.  Art!

     
     I feel they used auto-translate on that headline.  This is the 'Bulava', designed to reach well behind front lines in order to mess with Mordorvian logistics, as with the Firepoint 2.  As detailed by 'Artur Rehi' on Twitter, the orc's ability concentrate men and supplies in the rear is now being affected.  Art!

     Orcs are now vulnerable in all the red-shaded areas and utterly lack the means to intercept Ukrainian drone swarms.  Art!

     This would have been science fiction a few years ago.  What you're looking at here is a Ukrainian naval drone of the 'Sea Baby' class, stuffed to the gills with high explosive, and now sporting a heavy machine gun.  It isn't new, but this is the first detailed photo I've seen of this new class of naval drone.  The Ruffians discovered the hard way last year about these new, armed, drones, which shot down a helicopter and badly damaged another.  Before, they were able to get close in to the UNVs and machine gun them until they exploded; not any more.  Art!

     Pay attention to Number 4, 'Syvash'.  Art!

 

     Yes, the Ukrainians pasted it with naval drones and missiles.  Let me quote 'Beefeater' over on Twitter about what Mordorvia was using the Ukrainian platform for:

"The Russians used the platform as a base for deploying equipment for surveillance, communication relay, and installing electronic warfare and short-range air defense systems."

     Losing the platform means less electronic eyes and ears available to the orcs, making it easier for Ukrainian drones to control the Black Sea and attack into Crimea.  Art!

     That's the 'Admiral Grigorovich', a Ruffian frigate in harbour at Novorossiysk, in the sights of a Firepoint 2 drone.  Doing a bit of spectating during a drone strike is, one has to say, a rather dicey proposition and they may have lived to regret it.  

     Just to quantify how much damage these kinetic sanctions have inflicted, anonymous 'Western security officials' stated that $970 million's worth of damage has been done to the Ruffian's Baltic Sea ports, and $200 million of oil has been burned.  Also, no tankers have been able to load for two weeks.  You can't profit from high oil prices if you cannot export your oil.

     This is us, living in the future!

Don't Ask Me, I Have No Idea

I doubt Pumpkinhead has, either.  Art!

     It's April, so this can't be a mad March hare.  Ergo, it must be a rabbit.  Why it's seven feet tall and upstaging Trump I have no idea, apart from finding it very creepy.  Watch out, children - it might be hiding under your bed!

The Comedy Of Errors

I know part of BOOJUM!s charter is to steer clear of politics, but honestly, the farrago unfolding in Hungary at present is irresistible.  You see, there is a General Election being held on April 12th, and the polls are verrrry bad for the Weretoad, Viktor Orban, who is going to end up being Loser Orban.  Art!

     'Trailing' is putting it mildly, he's twenty-two points behind his main competitor, Peter Magyar, whose lead has actually increased.  Art!

     Which has resulted in a series of shenanigans cooked up by Orban and the FSB, who are desperately trying to fiddle a win for him.  First it was them going to set up a fake assassination in order to curry sympathy.  Then it was simple bribery, offering food and drink in return for votes.  Most recently it was a fake bomb plot.  Art!

     Supposedly, the wicked Ukrainians placed a bomb on the Serbian-Hungarian gas pipeline, a claim the Serbs immediately scotched.  In fact Orban's campaign has but one theme: blame Ukraine for everything, which is why there are more posters of Prez Zed in Budapest than there are of Orban.  Also - Art!

     Yes, Donnie Dorko sent that black hole of charisma, J D Vance, to stump for Orban.  Probably because the Weretoad is the only person who makes DJ Tango look slim by comparison, and Putin ordered him to do so.  Rumour has it that every time Vance spoke, Orban lost another 50,000 votes.

     Things are not going well when you get booed at your own political party rallies.  

     Bring your popcorn.

Yet Another 'What On Earth?' Moment

Allow me to post a Snip of an item from Twitter.  Art!

     Who what where why when?  I am guessing that this is a sports item, but that's as far as I get.  Whoever posted it was really leaning heavily on their audience already being clued in.  

The Food Dude

More satire from 'Daractenus', the Romanian wag who took a shot at South Canadian foods that are not allowed to be imported into the EU.  Art!

     Ol' Darry states that the South Canadian fish farmers add artificial astaxanthin, an additive that turns the flesh pink, rather than the normal grey.  Health and safety concerns about this artificial agent means South Canadian farm reared salmon are banned from the EU and the Antipodes.  

Finally - 

Going out with another Bierceism.

"Vote,n: The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country."

Herodotus: Hellenic History Harbinger

I Need To Bring In A Little Bit Of Historiography Here

 For those who do not know, the author Herodotus is frequently known as 'The Father of History', thanks to his use of critical methodology to analyse and describe the events of 2,500 years ago, rather than use myth and legend as previous authors had done so.  One ought to recommend this approach to modern authors*.  Ol' Hero's source material was verbal and material records of the time.  Art!

      Your Humble Scribe re-reads the 'Histories' every few years as they are entertaining and illuminating in nature.   Yes yes yes, I know we're talking about an ancient Greek author here, sue me if you want if I don't describe him with the usual <hack spit>, the edition I have is all in English.

     What are they about?  At their core is the conflict between Greece and Persia, with a lot of diversions along the way, such as the account of King Croesus, a real historical figure who ruled Lydia.  Art!

     He was immensely rich and powerful, so much so that he originated the saying 'As rich as Croesus'.  Art!

     As is clearly visible, ancient Lydia was a pretty big deal.  Croesus, whom as a king seems to have suffered from the usual regal over-ambition, decided he was going to take on Persia, ruled by the emperor Cyrus.  Rather than properly plan things out, you know, with boring stuff like supplies and roads and cavalry reconnaissance, he sought advice from the Oracle at Delphi.

     The Oracle at Delphi was highly-skilled in the art of being ambiguous and duplicitous, and avoiding giving a straight answer to a question.  If I remember correctly, I remember one venomous ruler being defeated in battle, whom took time during their retreat to kill all their oracles for advising wrongly, so you can understand the Delphic one being rather cagey.  Their prediction was that 'If Croesus went to war against Persia, he would destroy a mighty empire.'

     You can probably see where this is going.  Croesus did indeed wage war against Persia, and lost bigly when Cyrus crushed him and conquered Lydia.  The dangers of confirmation bias, hmmm?  Art!

Crosesus, not so rich any more

     Why am I giving you a lecture on ancient history?  Because Billy Bonespurs has once again demonstrated the disconnect between his tongue and what remains of his brain.  Art!

     Challenging Orban as a were-toad, we feel.  Gosh, typing that out means I won't be able to get into South Canada!  I feel so regretful O no actually I'm not at all.  Art!

     The presumption here is that DJ Tango is referring to Iran, and analysts worry that he's talking about rolling out the Big Bang Bombs in order to kill all Iranians, whom total 90 million.  This is a genuine possibility because Pumpkinhead has the attention span of a lobotomised goldfish, he's already bored and fed up with Iran for not rolling over and wants to shift the blame to Heggy and move on to cheating at golf.

     However - O that word again! - don't forget Croesus.  Plus, I am typing this screed the morning after his delulu post, and there is no news of any nuclear strikes, so once again Trump Always Chickens Out.  Thankfully!

     Plus, I've found an article from the 'Mirror', the British tabloid newspaper, with an impressive list of Donny Dorko's blatherings.

1. February 28: "This regime will soon learn that no one should challenge the strength and might of the United States Armed Forces."
2. March 1: "We have very strong objectives."
3. March 2: "We're already substantially ahead of our time projections."
4. March 3: "We won the war."
5. March 4: "We're doing very well on the war front."
6. March 5: "[Iran] have no air force, they have no air defence."
7. March 6: "They don’t have anyone or anything to fight with."
8. March 7: "We defeated Iran."
9. March 8: "I think the war is very complete, pretty much."
10. March 9: "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully."
11. March 10: "Short term oil prices, which will drop rapidly when the destruction of the Iran nuclear threat is over, is a very small price to pay for USA and World, Safety and Peace."

1. March 11: “You never like to say too ⁠early you won. We won. In the first hour it was over.”
2. March 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet."
3. March 13: "We won the war."
4. March 14: “The United States of America has beaten and completely decimated Iran, both militarily, economically, and in every other way, but… This should have always been a team effort."
5. March 15: "Whether we get support or not, I can say this, and I said it to them: we will remember."
6. March 16: “I’m demanding that these countries come in and protect their own territory."
7. March 17:“Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer ‘need,’ or desire, the Nato Countries’ assistance _ WE NEVER DID!”
8. March 18: "Allies must cooperate to open the Strait of Hormuz."
9. March 19: "US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz."
10. March 20: "Without the USA, NATO IS A PAPER TIGER!”
11. March 21: "[If Iran doesn't] FULLY OPEN, WITHOUT THREAT, the Strait of Hormuz, within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, the United States of America will hit and obliterate their various POWER PLANTS.”
12. March 22: “I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD"
13. March 23: "I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST."
14. March 24: "We’ve won this war."
15. March 25: “They gave us a present and the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.”
16. March 26: "They better get serious soon, before it is too late, because once that happens, there is NO TURNING BACK."
17. March 27: “We would have always been there for [NATO], but now, based on their actions, I guess we don’t have to be, do we?”

1. March 28: “Very strong talks.”
2. March 29: "To be honest with you, my favourite thing is to take the oil in Iran but some stupid people back in the US say: ‘why are you doing that?’ But they’re stupid people."
3. March 30: "The United States of America is in serious discussions with A NEW, AND MORE REASONABLE, REGIME to end our Military Operations in Iran. Great progress has been made."
4. March 31: "Iran has been, essentially, decimated. The hard part is done. Go get your own oil!"
5. April 1: "Iran’s New Regime President, much less Radicalized and far more intelligent than his predecessors, has just asked the United States of America for a CEASEFIRE!"

1. April 2: “We are gonna finish the job. We are getting very close.”
2. April 3: "[The US] hasn’t even started destroying what’s left in Iran. Bridges next, then Electric Power Plants!"
3. April 4: "Time is running out - 48 hours before all Hell will reign down on them. Glory be to GOD!"
4. April 5: "Open the f****n' Strait, you crazy b*****ds, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah."
5. April 6: "We're doing unbelievably well, well at a level that nobody's ever seen before."
6. April 7: "A whole civilization will die tonight."

     I don't expect you to read all his drivelling nonsense - although it does wonders for the Word Count - but you get an impression of how detached he is from reality.

     O and late breaking news -

Wowsers, the longest Intro ever.  Time for a few pictures instead of text walls.

Real Life Intervenes

On Saturday, as I ambled into Lesser Sodom (Royton if we're being formal) I noticed a lot of signage put up to warn of roadworks this week, carrying out resurfacing work.  It's badly needed, the section of Rochdale Road near The Mansion is full of potholes and ruts.  So, they started getting set up at 08:00 yesteryon.  Art!

     They were digging and drilling and scraping all day and have now levelled the road, which I hope was the noisy part.

Here's One I Made Earlier

You may recall Conrad posting a picture of a Full English Breakfast Pizza, which is exactly what it sounds like.  After a bit of dithering I made my own.  Art!

     I didn't bother with fried tomatoes or fried bread as I'm not fond of either, and baked beans would have made it soggy.  Verrry filling fodder.

Finally -

I think, like the pizza, we're done.

* Are you paying attention, Cooper?

Are You Ready?

I Would Hope So!

We've been putting out this content for 13 years, you ought to be ready for it by now, at least a little.  Don't worry, the Sherman diatribe is not present today, although IT WILL COME COUNT ON IT we may see it at a slightly later date.

     No, what I am about to pontificate upon is - Art!

One of their albums is titled 'Are You Ready?'

     What you see here is the album 'PG&E', performed by the eponymous band Pacific Gas And Electric, whom were forced to change their name for the slightly inconvenient and minor detail that there was already an organisation called Pacific Gas And Electric.   Who threatened to sue their bottoms off.

     As an aside, one also notes that the band Chicago were originally dubbed 'Chicago Transit Authority', until the real Chicago Transit Authority made threatening legal noises, and they became Chicago.  Art!

     Brilliant album cover.

     ANYWAY we're beyond bands and album covers, so let us now move on to the meat of today's Intro, which is another in the 'Be Amazed' compilation of "When Building Demolitions Go Horribly Wrong".  This one goes as horribly wrong as one might expect.  Art!

     These monoliths are the steam generating plant for Pacific Gas & Electric, which went dark in 1985, located at Kern in Bakersfield, California.  Eventually, after having stood for twenty-eight years, it was decided to bring them down with explosive demolition.  No gradual or partial removal by excavators bearing mechanical jaws or chaps with pneumatic jackhammers, this was a single big-bang method to save time and money.  Art!

Jack and his hammer

     The demolition takes place as per schedule, a crowd has gathered (officially or not it unclear), there are explosions and cheers.  Art!

     It looks like an incandescent pipe photo, but this is in fact the explosives detonating around the base of the units.  What seems to be bright light is in fact the detonation of explosives.

     This is where the problems begin.  Art!

     Down go the steam generators, the evil swine!  Cry God for Harry and England, and our overseas benighted cousins the other side of The Pond!

     <ahem straightens tie and collar>  the thing is, the 'implosion' managed to create an 'implosion' that was far more influential than anticipated, translating into 'an explosion bigger than we wanted', possibly the least-wanted words heard to issue from your supervisor at a demolitions company.

     

     You can see metal spall being thrown from the boiler structures, some of which travelled 1,400 feet from the blast site, meaning that the spectators were within range of the shrapnel zone.  Five people were injured with one, Jerry Wood, losing a leg thanks to severe injury, and cars and buildings were damaged.  Art!

     What were the reasons for this disaster?  Well, Pacific Gas & Electric were not to blame; being in the business of supplying energy, they had no expertise in demolitions, so they hire 'Demtech' to carry out the work.  More like 'Dementech', because a subsequent investigation by the Californian Safety and Enforcement Division found multiple failings.  Art

     Primary reason was that they used FIFTEEN times more explosive than was required.  An error of that magnitude really calls into question their ability to manage a demolition safely.  In addition, Demtech failed to - 

1. Used any scientific approach to determine the proper blast loads, 

 2. Applied scientific criteria to calculate the proper safety zone distance,

 3. Prescribed adequate blast shields to contain flying debris or fragmentation, 

 4. Consulted an engineer or reviewed structural drawings to analyze the boiler structure, or 

 5. Used computer modeling to simulate and validate its implosion design.

     I can illustrate No. 3.  Art!

     Those are plywood boxes encasing the explosive charges, which Demtech fondly imagined would prevent debris from being flung about.  Why use plywood?  Because it doesn't cost $50 per square metre that blast-proof fabric does, which is what they should have been using.  Consequently, as we have seen, you get debris hurled at high velocity for a long way.

     Demtech didn't even carry out test blasts, as they claimed the boiler's structure was similar to other demolitions they'd carried out in the past, so there was no need.  Conrad shudders to think how many other people they put at risk.

     Jerry Wood sued P G & E, which you might expect, whom settled up pretty quickly.  I cannot find what dollar amount he went for, although PG & E stated that they paid him 90% of what he was asking, and no, there is nothing in the media detailing what the total was.  Probably enforced with a Non-Disclosure Agreement.

     PG & E then stated it intended to sue Demtech for the compensation, at which point this Intro ends, as we're here for demolitions not legal process.  Also, I never checked up to see what happened between them.

Conrad's Curiosity Conspires

One of the incessant adverts on Youtube is for 'Intuit Turbo Tax', a business that takes over the calculation of taxes, which for reasons utterly foreign to me is how individual South Canadians deal with tax.  Art!

     This chubby jolly lady is busily typing away on a keyboard - apparently.  Conrad, being the utter cynic he is, wonders if she's just tapping keys randomly, because they don't show the monitor.  I guess we'll never know the truth and I will forever be haunted by such a minor thing.

Knowing Where The Bodies Are Buried

Metaphorically, I hasten to add.  There is a Malicious Compliance tale on 'Slash Start's Youtube channel, concerning Student Spa Worker, hereafter SSPOW because I can juggle the letters if I want to.  She worked at a spa where the rarely-seen owner was bonkers, they were always desperately short of staff and nobody wanted to work there.  

      The manager, Pam, ran a verrrry dodgy operation, which SPOW was careful to note, all the more as Pam took every opportunity to write her up for fake reasons, which SPOW found mystifying.  Was Pam trying to make her quit?  

     Well, yes.  You see, she wanted to get her son employed at the spa in SPOW's place, because he was a lazy bottomhole who couldn't hold down a job anywhere else.  She also got the other employees to bully SPOW and lie about her performance and behaviour.  This came back to bite them badly later on.  Pam got her way when SPOW resigned for a better job, and spitefully retained her last payment.

     "Take us to court if you dare!" was the response, probably thinking that a high-schooler  wouldn't know how or dare to. 

     O foolish Pam!  Art?

     SPOW had noted all sorts of naughty goings-on, which included:

1)  Working 8 hour days with no breaks or lunch

2)  Rats

3)  Ants

4)  Underage drinking

5)  Untreated mould

6)  'Employing' underage staff - Pam's daughter

7)  Selling client information

     Plus more that she couldn't remember so long after the fact.  Art!

     SPOW e-mailed the lot to the above people, who love love love investigating shady businesses who are breaking the law.  The owner and Pam were both fined, heavily, with Pam facing time in jail due to the number and seriousness of her crimes.  The owner had to sell the business, and SPOW very thoughtfully e-mailed all the other spas within a 50-mile radius about what happened, so neither the owner nor her ex-staff could ever get spa work again.

Another "What On Earth?" Moment

Conrad was perusing Youtube, scoping out potential Reddit tales and enjoying the Malicious Compliance ones, when this bizarre advert appeared. Art!

     What on earth are they talking about?  Popcorn is in no way an adventure.  Nor would I want it to be; Conrad wants to be able to safely open a bag and gorge on it, not worry about what calamity might befall me.  

Finally -

To get us over the Word Count line, a Biercism.

"Bachelor, n: A man whom women are still sampling."