Yes, It's Back To 'Discover Tech US' And Their Montage Of Misdeeds
Partly because I don't have any other items long enough to do an Intro, and because I sat down and indexed all the entries and here you are getting the benefit. I bet you can hardly wait. Art!
Hmmmm. This is what the AI Art Generator creates from the prompt 'Mighty Metal Mayhem'. I shall let it stand, it's not often the AI creates anything surprising. Could be a NWOBHM album cover from the Eighties.
ANYWAY I have mere minutes until work starts so I'd better get a shift on. One of the very annoying things about the DTUS montage is that they don't explain where or when an event occurred, and frequently just have a judgemental voice-over, instead of an explanation. Conrad can dig somewhat but you'll just have to put up with what I find, or don't find. Art!
A fool and his forklift
We'll start with a minor mishap, set in a warehouse where all the stupid goes to work. Look at the outlay above. There is a clear, sharp, ninety-degree corner there, with little room for manoeuvre. So what does the dope of a driver do? Attacks it at twenty miles per hour, when about five would be the safe maximum. Art!
It's not common to see a forklift driven so fast it leaves skid marks, but here we are. I so glad he got that Formula 1 itch out of his system and it must have consoled him when he got fired - driving like this is stupid enough but doing it under the eye of your warehouse's camera system takes the cake. Art!
More forklift frolics. Thanks to 'Peter' for posting this, although we don't know if those poorly-stacked piles of product are the result of this particular forklift driver, or the consequences of careless colleagues. At any rate you can guess what's going to happen now. Art!
By the time he sees this mass in motion, it would have been far too late to abandon his forklift and flee on foot. Art!
This is why forklifts have sturdy overhead protection for the driver. Since a still doesn't convey motion very well, let me assure you that he was still moving after the pile of product stopped moving. Art!
In case you were wondering, and even if you weren't, this is what was in the boxes. You're welcome. Art!
We seem to have a theme going, don't we? What you're seeing above is a consequence of stacking vertically to make the most of floor space, meaning more product in a smaller space, thus ensuring the bottom line stays in the black. So, what can possibly go wrong? Art!
This. Careless handling has breached one of the containers at height, allowing the contents to cascade out in a positive waterfall. The breached container is so high that it cannot be reached from the ground and will have emptied itself by the time anyone can attempt to plug it. Art!
That's the logo for this film clip. It doesn't seem to be a product name or an industrial producer, but if it is bleach spurting from that container, matey needs to get a shower quick smart. Art!
That was a large container. Plenty of work for buckets and mops! Art?
Okay, more containers of liquid, but individual small ones. Not working at height. What can possibly go wrong? Well this clip wouldn't be here if nothing happened, would it? Art!
The FULLY LOADED truck drives off. That's right, the numpty driving the truck didn't bother to check and see if his cargo had been offloaded. Art!
The end consequence. Not only are two lots of product now probably ruined, but the forklift may be damaged as well, not being designed to operate sideways and prone. O, neither is the forklift driver. Art!
Dozy Don the driver moves off without even noticing what he's done. Or he did notice and wants out of there as soon as possible, which won't avail much because, once again, offence committed directly under a security camera.
We are going to go out with a bang. Art!
I know what you're thinking, which forklift driver is going to create mechanical mayhem? Art!
Sorry for misdirecting you. Well, not very sorry. In fact not sorry at all (I did warn you I was a terrible person). Art!
A catastrophic collapse of the stacking system like this frequently leads to a cascade collapse of the whole unit, which is happening here. Art!
Fortunately the collapse stops at this point, which is still bad enough. It's unclear if the shelving was overloaded, corroded or damaged, or even all three (clip is from Ruffia!).
Enough of the mechanical mayhem!
The Cake Is Bake
I have already mentioned baking a Christmas cake, and if Art will do the honours -
Unusually the sugar, butter and fruit were all heated up in a pan, before cooling and adding the other dry ingredients and the eggs. The problem now is storage, because using this square tin means the cake is too large to fit into any of my cake tins. Neither did Morrisons have any large tubs. Bah! Expect lots of cling film and tinfoil to be resorted to.
Here's One I Mentioned Earlier
Yesteryon earlier. Remember that 'Tank Encyclopedia' entry about the 'German giant'? The one that turned out to be an engineering vehicle? Art!
I don't usually nick Wiki photos but this one is too good to not snaffle
The actual name is the 'Armoured Engineering Vehicle Kodiak', after the brute of a big bear. It is based on the Leopard 2 chassis, as you can tell by the road wheels, which is more information than you got yesteryon. It tips the scales at 62 tons, so it's a pretty massive metal mastodon. Normally it doesn't go armed, but it can be fitted with a dinky little remote-controlled turret. Art!
You'll notice the sheer number of smoke-dischargers on the front hull. Art!
There look to be at least 16 of them, which is a bit greedy. However - O that word again!- this vehicle might well want or need to wreathe itself in protective smoke as it clears mines or fills in an anti-tank ditch.
There you go, the Kodiak.
Still A Slow News Day?
Conrad is, once again, rather peeved at the news feed that keeps throwing up celebritutes I do not recognise nor want to recognise. Art!
Who on earth gives a flying Dog Buns! about what this person is wearing on her legs, or who she is or what she does or where she has her domicile!
When I take over, you'd better believe this type of promotion is going to come to a DEAD STOP. Probably by running them over with a Kodak. Art!
Were you paying attention?
More Gentle Shoeing
This one might need a little explanation. Art!
Here's Conrad's citric response:
Not quite, Conny old chap, as the Decauville lines had actual miniature locomotives to haul supplied. Perhaps the orcses could get their Combat Donkeys to tow the car?
Finally -
Another Bierce-ism from 'The Devil's Dictionary':
'Impunity, noun: Wealth'
If that's too short for you, try -
'Incense, noun: in religious affairs, an argument addressed to the nose.'
O how very different if that coin toss had meant Bierce went into politics and not journalism!
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