NO! That Is Not A Typo
It is in fact an hilarious pun and if you don't agree my Remote Nuclear Detonator is always looking for a bit of testing to atomic vapourisation.
First of all, let me introduce you to the South Canadian institution that is the Home Owners Association. Doubtless there are many, many worthy HOAs across the mighty continent of South Canada, but the ones that crop up on Youtube's Reddit channels are tyrannical petty dictatorships run by interfering little tin Herr Schickelgrubers. Art!
HOAs are dull as tofu. Have the M-28 tank instead!
Enter Original Poster. He begins by stating that his ex was very, very vindictive, which is probably why she was an ex in the first place. She had three affairs over the space of two years and finally ended up pregnant by the third Affair Partner, who was a foreign businessman (this matters later on). OP had been informed of this extra-marital hanky-panky by the first AP, who seems to have developed a conscience.
The ex also seemed to be quite the money-grubber, because she bitterly resented that OP got more from the sale of their home than she did - which is because he paid more into it. She then stalked him and showed up on the doorstep of his new home, making threats about claiming abuse and taking him for all he had and it was his fault she was living in AP 3's tiny apartment -
End of story, right?
WRONG!
Enter the HOA's president, who seemed to think that the title 'President' meant she had the same privileges at the chap who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. You see, OP had made legally certain that his house wasn't in the HOA when he bought it, which really melted her pan. She tried to force him to join, then trespassed on his property, and then tried harassing him with bogus complaints to the police and county code enforcement officers. All came to naught. Art!
HOAs are still boring. Have a Sherman Calliope instead!
You would think the HOA would leave well alone by this point, but no: HOArrid, remember? OP got official letters from them, listing fines liable, so he contacted them back and informed them he wasn't an HOA member and, even if he lived until the heat-death of the universe, he would never become a member.
They sent him photos of 'his' signature on an HOA membership form, which he instantly recognised as a forgery committed by his ex. They eventually went to court, where HOA Prez, probably sporting a toothbrush moustache (even if she was a woman) declared that the ex had gotten in touch with them. So they had sent her out the HOA membership documents, which she had returned with the signature. Art!
The legal battlefield
The judge, both shrewd and cutting, pointed out that the ex was no longer married to OP, had never lived in the house he now resided in, and had absolutely no influence or involvement with his joining the HOA or not. OP's lawyer promptly countersued for fraud, forgery and harassment, which got him an end payment of £10,000 and costs. The female HOA Prez immediately vanished and was never seen again - her replacement seems to be far saner.
And the forging fraudulent ex? She fled abroad to Europe, to be with AP3 rather than hang around and face the music. Many people who commented on OPs post told him to file charges, because that would mean her immediate arrest were she to return to infest South Canada.
V For Vindictive, I suppose
Conrad thanks his lucky stars he lives in This Sceptred Isle, which is almost entirely HOA-free. Doubtless they will start to crop up in a few years time.
"Vision On"
You have to be quite old to remember this glorious children's television program, which went on-air in 1964 and lasted until 1976, so it must have been doing something right.
The central idea was to have a television program for deaf children, whom we would call 'hearing-impaired' in today's buzz-word world. Thus, very little subtitling but tons of visual stuff. It was presented by Pat Keysell, an actress who could also do British Sign Language. Art!
- and Tony Hart, who did amazing artwork in any number of media. You had Wilf Lunn, who created bonkers machines, and The Prof, who appeared in film segments and was basically a demented scientist. Art!
There was also 'Aardman', an animated superhero, created by Peter Lord and David Sproxton, and if we just tickle Art with the cattle-prod -
I bet you thought I'd forgotten about this, didn't you? WRONG! Let us now
This photo comes from the Allied advance after the battle of Salerno, where the Teutons had inflicted heavy casualties yet couldn't prevent the amphibious landing nor the follow-on advance. Here you see a Jeep evacuating a wounded Teuton prisoner; note the missing headlamp. This issue is dated November, so I've lagged behind a little, which I hope you'll forgive.
I think we'll stop with a single cover picture because we need to move on to -
"The Sea Of Sand"
Sarah has been standing in for the Doctor, variously belabouring or cajoling her audience of British and Italians to co-operate. Stout gel!
‘A Lysander,’ announced
Albert. He glanced at the others. ‘The RAF and Army use them for
reconaissance. Very low stalling speed.’
‘That’s
it! Thirteen Corps have decided to
investigate us!’ declared Roger, with a touch of glee. ‘There’ll be a column here any time soon.’
Dominione
looked less impressed.
‘We
will not be able to communicate with them, nor they with their headquarters.’
Sarah
passed this on to Roger, and anticipated his question first.
‘Why
not? Because our radio is being
deliberately interfered with. I suspect
the – the monsters are responsible. We
tried to contact our headquarters at Tenth Army and were unable to do so.’
That
was the unpleasant conclusion. Nobody
outside their little circle knew what was really happening down here, and
nobody would find out.
Excellency Lord Sur felt both
apprehensive and angry.
His
anger was understandable. The last two
surviving prisoners, a heretic and that alien Thedoctor, managed to escape from
their holding cell. From the very middle
of his citadel! Questions were already
being asked, he could tell. Oh, he
hadn’t told anyone official about the shocking oversight, no, not at all. There would be spies in his household staff
willing to pass on the information to other Lords and Excellencies, which led
to the apprehension.
Lord Windbag Sur is one character I don't feel any sympathy for. Not one bit!
Korean Cooking
I did a recipe from my "Seoultown Cookbook" tonight, the first such attempt. Art!
Marinaded pork belly with soba noodles and bean sprouts. Pretty nice stuff, actually, and there's enough left for a round two tomorrow.
Finally -
Conrad is about to go for a shower, for I am back at work tomorrow on another looooooong 10-hour day and don't fancy having to get up at 06:30 for a shower. Besides which, my hair would still be wet by the time I got to the bus stop, which is not conducive to good health. Imagine having an ice-helmet for a hairdo! Art!
A tad extreme but you get the idea
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