Just Czeching In -

Sorry, Couldn't Resist
I will be in trouble indeed if young Marketa <surname redacted> finds out I've been making merry with puns about her homeland, for is she not the Angry Young Czech?
     Well, yes, except she's not gotten angry at what Your Humble Scribe imagined Czechs would find umbrage at: in her list of things that stoke her to an incandscent rage there is an absence of i) Being Invaded and ii) English-speakers punning about "Czech" and "Check".  Art?

Have I read "Bleak House"?  You know, I'm not sure -

     Yes, TMWE did have a short sketch where they used all the Czech/Check puns that normal English allows.  Go Youtube, I'm busy here.
     Number Nine on Marketa's list is:  Thinking The Czech Republic Is A Third-World Country.
     This one Conrad does find a bit perplexing.  Czechia is about as central in Central Europe as Central can get; it's not Albania, for heaven's sake! 

Not Albania

 Prague is practically the bulls-eye of Europe, and if all roads lead to Rome, a considerable proportion of them must therefore pass through Czechia.  It's a modern, urban, industrialised nation with a very high standard of living.  The Czechs are what you get if you cross Teutons with Ruffians: very organised and efficient yet also soulful and fond of a vodka beer or ten.

The bridges of Prague

     Don't forget, the highest-scoring pilot in the Battle of Britain wasn't British, he was Czech, mate*.

Doctor Boom
By now you may have realised that Conrad has been somewhat mischievous in his promoting this blog on Facebook.  SHOCK HORROR CONRAD NOT RELIABLE OR TRUSTWORTHY!!  Yeah, well, late breaking news, water is wet, the sky is blue and plutonium shavings are an excellent ice-cream dressing.
     Moving swiftly ahead, last night we had <thinks> "Unstable Neodymium Isotope Alloy Man" which is of course a spoof of Mr. Anthony Stark MSc, FS, BFA, better-known to all as "Fe Man".

Iron Maiden.  Pretty close

     And his opponent was one "Doctor Boom", who is very probably - I don't claim to be completely accurate here as it's my brain we're negotiating and no-one knows where or what goes - a spoof of Doctor Doom.
     There is a sound, solid, reasonable and rational explanation for having this article here, but I cannot be bothered to extrapolate it tonight, so - see you tomorrow!

Erk.  This is a real thing?

     I know you didn't ask, but YES I am enjoying Richard Evans' "Telling Lies About Hitler", being his book about the experience of being an expert witness at the Deborah Lipstadt trial back twenty years ago.  

Keanu And The Polish U.F.O.s
Yes, we finally reach this article, and Conrad realises he's forgotten what the heck it was all about, as it's been sitting on the back-burner for weeks now, and his memory is not what it was.  For example, let us -
     Yes, we finally reach this article, and Conrad realises he's forgotten what the heck it was all about, as it's been sitting on the back-burner for weeks now, and his memory is not what - hang on, this sounds familiar -
      Art!

     
     The Polish lady writing this story was utterly baffled about why an obscure Polish voivodeship in the north-east would utilise the services of one Keanu H. Reeves to extol their virtues - unless - 
     It was more about the "Polish Roswell" than rolling grasslands and inclined canal planes?  This area is home to Wylatowo, a village of 600 inhabitants, aaaaand - CROP CIRCLES IT MUST BE ALIENS IN UFOS!!

Hmmmmmm

     One hates to burst a bubble, chaps, but the progenitors of this in the UK came out with the truth many years ago; no UFOs or aliens, just a couple of chaps with a plank and some rope.  And if the UFOs are popping round all the time, one wonders why the Ruffians haven't shot any of them down, as they consider the skies to be theirs theirs theirs, yah booh sucks.
     Still, if you check it out on Youtube you can hear Keanu making a pretty good attempt at Polish.

Nope
Nope Nope Nope.  There, I think I get the concept of "Not having anything to do with it" across pretty well.  Art?

     Whilst Conrad can acknowledge the interesting nature of the artefacts discovered in these underwater caves, the fact that they are UNDERWATER CAVES is sufficient to give him a big case of the purple wim-wams.  First of all, contorting yourself into horribly confined cold, dark spaces is more akin to a species of torture than a hobby in my opinion, and then to add in being completely submerged, so if you exceed your tank's capacity by even a fraction more than half you on the way in will die before you get out - Nope.
     What the divers discovered was Mayan mining activity, extracting ore for dyes, and they found a couple of skeletons, too.  Conrad was presuming that the caves have gradually filled with water over the past 12,000 years; however, if there are skeletons there, does that mean a sudden irruption of water drowned those unfortunates?  
     Double Nope!

Yes, spectacular.  AND DEADLY!

Finally -
Conrad has been using Blogger with a smidgeon of misapprehension of late, as there was long an advisory on the main page stating that the Brand Spanking New Iteration was going to arrive in late June -
     This would automatically be a source of worry, because We Fear Change.
     Anyway, late June has been and gone, and now the advisory has "July" as the date.  Perhaps there are some wrinkles in the system that need sorting out?  Conrad is happy to wait until 2050 if need be.

Blimey -

     - this bigos is a serving big enough for a brace of blokes!



*  Not remotely sorry.