Harry Potter And The Goblatte Of Fire

That Might Be Pushing It A Bit -
 - as the HP franchise is so whimsically British, and the latte is a sinister South Canadian intruder from overseas, rather than a cup of tea.  Howsoever that may be, I wished to try and maintain the HP theme because I have no shame, no scruples and it seems to bring the visitors in.  Also, I was watching "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" last night, and found it hard to get over how young Dan Radcliffe was.

Dan at his audition

     Okay, frank and full confessions aside, let us now look at - half-tracks!
     Yes it IS an interesting subject.  Why?  BECAUSE I SAY SO!
     Now that you are sitting comfortably, allow me to explicate a tad.  These beasts were children of the Second Unpleasantness, since improvements in wheeled vehicles apres that conflict meant they became extinct.  Although the Israelis may still have some knocking around as they never throw anything away.  The one you're probably most familiar with is the M3 White Half Track, a South Canadian beast that is genuinely half-tracked.  Art?

In their natural element

     The idea was that the tracks gave it a go-anywhere capability, but without the complexity of being all-tracked.
     Now let us examine the Teuton equivalent.  Art?

A Hanomag

     Being Teuton, they had to over-engineer and complicate things.  As you can see, this is more a three-quarters track, with a lot of overlapping running wheels to support the vehicle's weight.  Those overlapping wheels were liable to jam with mud, ice or stones, and that angled hull meant that any incoming fire would be diverted down to hit the running gear - jam risk again - or upwards, to where those stubble-hoppers are lounging.  The Teuton models very rapidly disappeared apres the Unpleasantness, meaning that anyone trying to film them - yes, Hollywood, looking RIGHT AT YOU! - tended to simply paint an M3 grey and stick a cross on it.  I think the only effort to create a real one is in "Saving Private Ryan".  "Kelly's Heroes" makes an effort by adding angled appliques to an M3, so 6/10 for effort, chaps.

Hoax Hanomags

     Now that's out of the way, let the motley crawl forth!

A Way With Words
Up until 6 years ago, your humble scribe had only acquired the rules of grammar via osmosis, and it took until last year for him to fully grasp the apostrophe.  Now, however, there is no stopping me*!
     Which doesn't really have anything to do with Wordsquare, that feature of the puzzle page in the MEN.  The idea is that you have nine letters, which make up a whole word.  One of these letters is highlighted, and all the words you create have to include that one.
     Art?

     Here we have 36 words, which is beyond Very Good if not quite Excellent.
     Not really world-shaking news, I just thought I'd share with you**.  Oh, in case you were wondering, an "Erne" is a type of avian raptor that dines on fish.  I first encountered it in a short story by IIRC Cyril Kornbluth, called again IIRC "The Quaker Cannon", when a protagonist get stuck in a sensory deprivation for his sins, and he goes quietly bonkers trying to think up crosswords, which included the "Erne".


Shakespoke
Conrad's campaign to besmirch the good name of Windbag Willy rumbles on anon and on.  What shall we mock today?  Ah!

"Get thee to a nunnery"

Then you'd miss this punnery.

You mood would thus become blue,

Or it would if you knew what was good for you.

     Yes, we are not above a little threat now and then.  Don't forget, I DO know where you live.  And if you were stuck in a nunnery I think you'd need all the entertainment you could get.  Shall we continue?  Yes is the default option.  Quiver in terror, Bill!

     No, Art, you witless wart.  Wrong Bill <sounds of atomic-powered Tazer in action>

"All that glisters is not gold."

Inventing words is quite bold.

Were you deceived by the sights

Of "Fools Gold", or iron pyrites?

     Do you see what I did there?  I am allowed to make up portmanteau words for BOOJUM! because it's my blog and I like to show off my intellect, but Windbag Willy has done a real Covfefe there.  His quill pen probably broke or he contracted the Black Death or some such shizzle.

Some grommets.  Because they're more interesting than Shakespeare.

Right!  I was going to bang on about siege warfare over the ages, but we've had enough martial mutterings for one day, and we're also at count.  So - Cox Sag Ol! which is "Goodbye" in Azeri.



*  At this point a ham would be rubbing their hands and cackling.  I merely smile, enigmatically.
** This is the definition of "gloasting", my very own portmanteau of "Gloating" and "Boasting"